


Artistic Process

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Muses, Slow Romance, sugar daddy (kind of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-03-21 20:12:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3703843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“One must give himself completely to his art and not hold back. Throw caution to the wind. Embrace the muse. Make love to your art.” ~Harley King</p><p>Sebastian Michaelis is a reasonably successful and pretentious artist facing the harsh reality that his inspiration for painting might have left him forever. Ciel Phantomhive is a grumpy and pretentious college student facing the harsh reality of a tight budget. Ciel's using Sebastian for sex and money; but that's alright, because Sebastian's using Ciel for sex and artistic inspiration. They're both using each other, and it's fine, because it's not like the relationship is anything more than casual sex... right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

His newest work is giving him a headache; he has thrown his brush on the floor and cursed far too many times.

Sebastian gained fame for his first real series of paintings, collectively titled the “Hellscape” series by the art world. They depict various settings, all of which look so horrible and bleak that they can only be pictures of hell.

The series was so successful that Sebastian found himself painting much more of it than he expected, and making a lot more money than he ever dreamt of making.

He has all the money he needs to buy all the art materials he needs to paint, and a beautiful space to paint in, and the ability to travel anywhere he likes in order to find something to paint.

But he’s completely devoid of any inspiration. No ideas strike him, and his fingers don’t itch to hold brushes like they used to.

Sometimes, in the lonely hours of midnight, Sebastian worries that he’s lost his talent completely.

He debates switching to another medium—perhaps charcoal or watercolor. But he knows his strengths, and he still remembers how much he enjoyed traditional painting, so he’s decided to wait and see if something else will hit him.

The only problem with waiting is that he really can’t afford to wait much longer. His agent recently procured him a leading spot in a show in one of the biggest galleries in New York City, with the one condition that he have at least ten pieces done for it by next April.

It’s October, and Sebastian has absolutely no ideas yet.

 

 

* * *

 

Sebastian is sitting in his favourite Starbucks, nursing a venti hazelnut mocha and poring over a collection of Fitzgerald’s stories, when he sees the boy.

The boy has swept through the Starbucks entrance, the bells on the door jingling as if to announce his arrival. He strides over to the register and orders a large chocolate peppermint tea and a cinnamon coffee cake. The woman working the register asks him if he meant a venti, and he gives her a scornful look, telling her that he ordered a large.

 _He’s rude_ , thinks Sebastian. This thought only makes the boy more fascinating to him.

The boy pays for his order with cash, takes his cinnamon coffee cake, and immediately walks over to the other end of the counter to wait for his chocolate peppermint tea. It doesn’t come for a few minutes, and he gets impatient; he taps the counter with his pointer and middle fingers in a quick, erratic rhythm.

The boy is wearing a deep-blue sweater that is perhaps one or two sizes too large, tight black skinny jeans, and grey slip-on shoes. His hair is dyed a dark blue-grey, his skin is milk-pale, his eyes are blue.

As soon his tea arrives, the boy takes it and turns to look around the store, obviously hoping that there will be a free table. But the Starbucks is packed, and the boy looks sour.

Quickly Sebastian puts all of his stuff on the floor next to him, freeing up the chair across the table. “Excuse me,” he calls out to the boy. “This seat is free.”

The boy looks at him scornfully. “And who said I was looking for a free seat?”

Sebastian smiles, unperturbed. “Well, were you looking for a free seat?”

The boy sniffs. “It’s not like it would take Sherlock Holmes to figure it out.” He walks over, places his food on the table, plunks his satchel down on the ground next to him, and investigates the chair critically before delicately sitting down.

“Very true,” Sebastian says, feeling elated at the sight of this beautiful boy so close to him.

The boy doesn’t answer. He takes out a packet of paper and begins eyeing it with a scowl on his face, using his other hand to eat and drink.

Sebastian can’t go back to his book. He tries, but he can’t focus. Finally, he looks up and says, “What are you reading?”

The boy looks up at him in surprise, then quickly scowls again. “Why do _you_ care?”

“Just curious,” says Sebastian. “Merely making conversation.”

The boy rolls his eyes. It’s at this moment that Sebastian realises that the boy’s eyes aren’t simply blue. One of them is the most vivid and pure shade of deep blue he’s ever seen, brought out devastatingly by the matching hue of the oversized sweater. The other one is clouded, milky.

“Of all the days to forget my headphones,” says the boy, glaring at him with that asymmetric stare. “Look, do I seem like I’m in the mood to talk?”

“No,” says Sebastian honestly.

“Then why are you talking to me?”

“Because you seem like the kind of person who’s never in the mood to talk,” Sebastian says. “And I don’t think that’s a good way to live your life.”

“Hmph,” the boy says, looking back down at his packet.

“Also, you’re incredibly cute.”

“Wha-“ the boy gasps, looking up. “I’m nineteen, not nine!”

Sebastian laughs. “You misunderstand me. When I say ‘cute’, I’m not saying I want to pinch your cheeks. I’m saying I want to press you against a wall.”

It comes out before he can stop himself. The boy turns crimson, and Sebastian prepares to be slapped.

“How old are you?” the boy says, after a pause.

“Thirty-five,” says Sebastian honestly, mentally crossing his fingers.

“Ew,” the boy says. “You’re almost twice my age.”

“That’s true,” Sebastian says with a nod.

“Creepy old man, hitting on college boys in the local Starbucks.”

“I suppose,” Sebastian admits.

The boy considers him. “Ok, give me a moment,” he says finally, cramming the rest of his coffee cake in his mouth.

“What do you mean?” asks Sebastian, watching the boy chew.

The boy swallows, wiping his lips with a napkin. “You wanna fuck me, right?”

“Very much,’ Sebastian quickly says.

The boy nods, all business. “Ok, then.” He lifts up his satchel and shoves the packet into it. “We gotta do it at your place, though. My dorm is shit.”

“Understood,” says Sebastian. “I don’t live too far from here.”

 

* * *

 

“Fuck, this is _huge_ ,” the boy says, gaping at Sebastian’s admittedly quite spacious studio apartment.

“Thank you,” Sebastian says. He could make an innuendo, but he doesn’t.

“No fucking fair,” the boy says, looking around. “How did you-“

He cuts off with a small sound of surprise as Sebastian wraps his arms around the boy’s delicate torso, pressing the boy to him so that his half-hard cock makes itself known against that slim back.

The boy stiffens momentarily before relaxing, pushing back against the hardness and huffing out a breath. “Jesus,” he says. “Getting right down to business, are we?”

“My name is Sebastian. And yours?”

“Ciel,” the boy says. “But do you really care?”

“Ciel,” Sebastian repeats, sounding the name out on his tongue as he continues to rock his hips against Ciel’s back. “Beautiful. French for ‘sky’, if I’m not mistaken?”

“You’re not mistaken,” Ciel says. “Are- are you as huge as you feel?” His voice is a cocktail of excitement, apprehension, and childish curiosity.

Sebastian leans down so he can mutter in Ciel’s ear, “Are you ready to find out?”

Ciel shudders, turns around to press his lips against Sebastian’s gently, then gives them a sharp-toothed bite. “Bring it on, old man,” he says.

Sebastian grins. Without further ado, he leans down and scoops Ciel up, throwing him over his shoulder. When he reaches his ridiculously enormous bed, he throws Ciel down on it with very little ceremony. “You’re as light as a feather.”

Ciel looks stunned, but still manages to say, “Shut up and do what I came here for.”

“Yes, my lord,” Sebastian says, slipping off Ciel's shoes and throwing them aside before he swoops down to capture Ciel’s mouth again, pressing him to the bed, placing his palms on either side of his head and shoving a knee in between his thighs.

He slips off Ciel’s sweater, throwing it off the side of the bed. Ciel’s nipples are a darkened candy pink, and Sebastian eyes them as he runs his hands up Ciel’s sides. “Are they sensitive?” he asks, placing his thumbs delicately on Ciel’s nipples.

Ciel flinches before responding with a breathy, “Y-yes.”

When Sebastian looks up at him, he’s biting his lower lip with his pearly white teeth, breathing deeply with his eyes wide and face flushed. His hips move slightly, obviously craving the friction of Sebastian’s knee.

Sebastian begins to rub Ciel’s nipples with his thumbs, pressing his knee against Ciel’s groin in a matching rhythm. With the rest of his hands he scratches gently at Ciel’s sides.

“ _Haaah_ ,” says Ciel. He squirms, gripping the bedsheets and bending his knees so his feet are flat on the bed. “Oh, yeah, that’s nice…” His voice trails off, turning into little sounds of approval as he leans into Sebastian’s touch.

After a moment of this, Sebastian is bored. He moves back a bit and unbuttons Ciel’s skinny jeans, idly mouths at sharp hipbones as he unzips and pulls down the pants.

Ciel’s wearing boxer briefs, black and tight and boasting a slight erection. Immediately Sebastian moves his mouth to Ciel’s clothed cock, making sure to press his tongue firmly on the bulge, holding down Ciel’s hips to prevent the boy from squirming.

At first Ciel merely pants and gasps, but those pants and gasps soon turn into whining. “I didn’t come here for you to fucking tease, me, _G_ _od_ , I want your dick in me.”

“Patience,” Sebastian says, moving his hands under Ciel’s ass to squeeze the cheeks and growling at how plump they are. Of course he wants nothing more than to shove himself into the boy right now, but he also wants to see how much Ciel is willing to ask for it. He puts his mouth back on Ciel’s clothed erection.

“I don’t _have_ any fucking patience!” says Ciel, wriggling in a futile attempt to escape Sebastian’s grip. “Are you so old that it’s taking you this long to get hard?” Clearly he expected the taunt to be enough to coax Sebastian into fucking him; but as the teasing continues, he realizes it’s not going to work. “ _Sebastian_ …” he moans, stopping his struggling and going helplessly limp on the bed.

The sound of his name coming from that sweet little mouth is enough to get Sebastian painfully hard. He sits back and yanks the black briefs off, leaving Ciel naked in front of him.

He studies Ciel as if preparing to devour a meal, sitting back and eyeing every part of Ciel’s body as if inspecting every ingredient of a dish. Ciel’s body is flushed everywhere; his skin is a canvas of pink and white. His eyes are closed, his body is tense.

“Look at me,” Sebastian says softly.

Ciel does, and the moment he meets Sebastian’s hungry gaze he shudders violently, panting, a single pearl of precum appearing at the tip of his little cock. “You… you’re staring…”

“I want to devour you,” Sebastian rumbles, running his hands up Ciel’s thighs.

Ciel whines, throwing his head back and kicking his legs. “Stooop,” he says. “Just… god, Sebastian, _hurry_.”

“So bossy,” says Sebastian indulgently. He doesn’t waste any more time, reaching into the bedside table for lube and a condom.

“Aren’t you going to take off any of your clothes?” Ciel asks, looking up at him.

“No,” Sebastian says with a smile before leaning down and engulfing the entirety of Ciel’s erection.

Ciel whimpers, arching his back and reaching forward to grip Sebastian’s hair. “Oh, oh, oh my god…”

Sebastian hums as he uncaps the lube, rubs it on his fingers to warm it up before gently pushing a single finger at Ciel’s entrance.

“God, do it, just do it, just…” Ciel mumbles, pulling at Sebastian’s hair.

Sebastian complies, pressing into Ciel firmly, his free hand planted on that pale, slender abdomen. He makes a rumbling sound of approval at how tight and warm Ciel is, and Ciel whines in response. The whine sounds so desperate that he pops Ciel’s cock out of his mouth, not wanting the boy to come too quickly.

Slowly but surely he works Ciel open, pushing in another finger, then another. He scissors his fingers, rooting around for Ciel’s prostate.

“What are you doing?” Ciel says, tugging on Sebastian’s hair even harder, chest heaving, face flushed.

“Preparing you,” Sebastian says.

“That’s enough!” cries Ciel. “Three is enough, I- _ah_!” He throws his head back almost violently.

“Ah, I knew I’d find it,” Sebastian croons. “Your precious little spot…”

He begins thrusting his fingers and Ciel howls, kicking his legs frantically and pounding the sheets. “N… no! No! Don’t you _dare_ make me come before you put your dick inside me, you bastard, don’t-“

“Patience,” says Sebastian, removing his fingers from that stretched hole and sitting back to unzip his fly, pull down his pants and boxers to his mid-thighs, and grab the condom he dropped on the bedsheets.

As soon as it’s around his cock and coated in lube, Sebastian grabs Ciel and flips him over, positioning his cock at that slick pink entrance. “Ready for me?” he says, leaning over Ciel’s back so that he’s speaking the words directly into Ciel’s ear.

Ciel twitches under him, pushing against his cock while saying, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, _fuck_ , yes, do it, come on!”

Without another word, Sebastian pushes in. He does so slowly and steadily, and Ciel takes it. He moans, but he takes it, and Sebastian doesn’t think he’s ever been in a better ass before.  
  
As he bottoms out, Ciel makes a strangled noise. Sebastian stills all movement, as if he were a beast trying not to scare its prey.

“Are you ok?” he says gently.

“Fuck you,” snaps Ciel.

Sebastian remains still, listening to Ciel’s pants of breath and feeling that small frame tremble and clench around him. He bites his lower lip, almost trembling himself as he patiently waits for Ciel to give him permission to move.

Finally, Ciel shudders and sighs out his body’s tension, relaxing as he chokes out, “Move.”

Sebastian lets out a grateful sigh in reply as he grips Ciel’s hips and pulls out, proceeding to push back in.

Ciel lets out a strangled noise and wiggles his hips, and Sebastian takes that as a sign to continue. He thrusts a few more times, keeping his rhythm gentle and smooth.

Ciel starts to fidget, pushing back against Sebastian’s hips, trying to get Sebastian’s dick moving inside him at a faster pace. But Sebastian’s got his hips gripped tightly, and so he has almost no control over the pace.

Sebastian smiles to himself, knowing that it won’t be too long before Ciel has to ask him to-

“What the fuck is this?” Ciel snaps, still moving his hips against Sebastian’s hands. “Are you 35 or 3500? This is pathetic. Fuck me properly or I swear to god I will put my fucking clothes on and leave- _FUCK! GOD! SEBASTIAN_!”

Ciel’s insolence pulls a growl out of Sebastian’s throat, and he begins slamming into Ciel’s body mercilessly.

Ciel continues to cry out, his words deteriorating into meaningless yelps and moans as Sebastian fucks him so hard his arms give out and he collapses face-first onto the bed, still moaning.

After several more thrusts, Sebastian feels himself approaching the precipice of orgasm. Reaching under Ciel’s smooth belly, he takes Ciel’s cute little cock in hand and begins pumping it.

“Ah, ah, _ah_ , Sebastian, ah!” Ciel cries. “I’m close… I’m so close…”

“Come for me,” orders Sebastian, his tone not leaving any room for argument.

And Ciel obeys, bucking his hips and keening desperately as his come coats Sebastian’s palm, his muscles clenching around Sebastian’s cock.

“Good,” Sebastian manages to growl out before the pressure becomes too much, and he comes, hips thrusting rapidly.

As soon as he comes down from his high he pulls out, leaning back on his heels and seeing to the removal and disposal of the condom.

Ciel falls face-first on the mattress, his body limp and shuddering. After a moment, he turns over onto his back and inhales deep gulps of air through his swollen pink lips. His eyes are glazed over, his chest heaves. His spent cock is pearly with come, his nipples are still pink and peaked.

It’s a beautiful sight. Sebastian allows himself a self-congratulatory smile. He leans over to retrieve a cigarette and his beloved cat-shaped lighter.

“Smoking kills,” Ciel says hoarsely, through his pants.

Sebastian chuckles. “Thought it would take you a bit longer to regain your senses.”

“Oh, shut up,” says Ciel. He gingerly sits up, wincing and rubbing his hips. “But,” he says after a moment, “God. _God._ Where the fuck… where did you learn to fuck like that?”

Sebastian shrugs, taking a long drag of his cigarette. He’s somewhat surprised himself; he’s always been good at fucking, but he certainly feels as if Ciel drew out his best performance to date.

“God,” says Ciel again, flopping back onto the bed. He’s silent for a while, his peaches and cream body sprawled on the black sheets. Sebastian desperately wishes to paint him.

Suddenly, he sits up again and declares, “I’m thirsty.”

“I can get you water,” Sebastian offers, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray next to the bed and standing.

“Thanks,” says Ciel.

By the time Sebastian goes into the kitchen, pours a glass of water, and walks back, Ciel is up and hobbling over to the wall where Sebastian has hung some of his older paintings. “These are beautiful,” he says, reaching a hand out as if to touch before quickly pulling it back.

“Thank you,” Sebastian says, walking over to him. “These were the ones that I couldn’t bear to part with.” It’s odd, remembering how fond of his art he used to be.

Ciel looks at him in surprise, that big blue eye widening. “You mean that you _made_ these?”

“This apartment didn’t pay for itself,” Sebastian says.

“ _This_ is how you made your money?” Ciel shakes his head. “Are you famous? In the art world, I mean.”

“Reasonably so,” Sebastian says modestly.

“Cool,” says Ciel. “Are you gonna give me that water?”

“My apologies,” Sebastian says, handing the glass over. He watches Ciel gulp down the water, eyes the still-cooling sweat on the boy’s delicate body, and realises that he wants to fuck again. “Will you be able to stay, have another round?”

Ciel finishes the drink and snorts. “Pervert,” he says. “Actually, if that clock on the bedside table is right, I need to go.”

“Well, that’s disappointing,” says Sebastian, watching Ciel carefully as he takes the glass back. “I wanted to hear your lovely moans again.”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Ciel blurts, slapping a hand over his face. “You can’t just say…” He sighs loudly. “Pervert.” He walks around the bed, collecting his scattered clothing and starting to dress himself. By the time he’s pulling on his sweater, Sebastian has given it up for lost.

But as he slips into his grey loafers, Ciel looks up and says, “I would be up for doing this again another day.”

Sebastian smiles. “Excellent,” he says. “Shall we agree on a time?”

Ciel nods. He thinks for a moment before saying, “Friday. Not this Friday, a week from tomorrow. 5 o’ clock, here.”

“Do I get a say?” Sebastian asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Does that work for you or not?” says Ciel bluntly.

Sebastian’s schedule is pretty sparse, so it doesn’t take him long to say, “It works for me.”

“Cool,” says Ciel. He heads towards the door and picks up his satchel. “I’ll see you then.”

He’s out the door before Sebastian can reply.

 

* * *

 

That night, Sebastian takes out his canvas and oil paints. Going straight for the blues, he covers the canvas with abstract swirls of colour. _Blue is nice_ , he thinks.

Previously he rarely chose blue; his hellscapes were mostly composed of reds and blacks.

_Perhaps it’s time for a change._

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian barely thinks about Ciel for the rest of the week.

Well, twice he finds himself masturbating to the memory of Ciel’s petite build, creamy skin, and perky ass, but that’s about it. His life, as a whole, is the same. 

On Friday, the doorbell rings at 5:05 PM. As soon as Sebastian opens the door, Ciel is on him like a magnet, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt and attacking his mouth.

After a brief moment of surprise, Sebastian reciprocates the kiss and eagerly tastes that small, sweet mouth. He grows tired of stooping down fairly quickly, and scoops Ciel up, his hands on Ciel’s ass and mid-back.

Ciel squeaks as he’s lifted up, but quickly rallies; he wraps slim legs around Sebastian’s torso and slim arms around Sebastian’s neck.

Sebastian carries him to the dresser, propping him up so he’s at a high enough level for them to be face to face. Sebastian relieves Ciel of his sweater, this time a forest green, and rubs Ciel’s nipples with his thumbs. “I missed these,” he says, pinching them in emphasis, watching Ciel gasp and arch his back. “When I play with them, they become as red as cherries…”

“Cool,” Ciel says breathlessly, grabbing Sebastian’s head and pulling it towards him so they can share a heated kiss. “You better fuck me as hard as you did last time.”

Sebastian’s only response is to pull Ciel into his arms and bring him to the bedroom.

This time Sebastian pushes Ciel up against the bed frame, slamming into him in a steady rhythm until he shouts out his pleasure, his hands scrabbling for purchase against the wall, his nipples rubbing against the smooth wood of the bed frame.

“Seba… Sebastian!” yelps Ciel eventually. He sounds desperate. “I need… touch me…”

Sebastian laughs, a snarl in his throat. “I spoiled you last time,” he says. “If you’re so desperate to come, you’ll work your pretty little cock all by yourself, boy.”

Ciel lets out a whimper at the nickname, wrapping his hand around himself hurriedly. It doesn’t take long for him to come, mewling out Sebastian’s name and wiggling his little ass against Sebastian’s hips.

Sebastian feels his own climax coming, and picks up the pace until he yanks the boy onto him one last time, burying himself in Ciel’s ass and groaning loudly.

When he finishes, Sebastian begins to pull out, expecting Ciel to fall forward against the wall. But Ciel sits up and falls backward, collapsing into Sebastian’s arms. Sebastian barely catches him, almost too shocked to move.

Ciel shows no sign of getting up, and Sebastian’s legs are cramping. So he carefully uncrosses his legs, moving back to turn around and lean against the bed frame with his legs outstretched, holding Ciel against his chest. He isn’t sure what he’s doing, and it feels incredibly awkward and unfamiliar. But Ciel is panting, his slim bony back expanding and contracting against Sebastian’s chest, and it’s oddly soothing.

They stay like this for a while. Sebastian wants a cigarette, but finds himself incredibly reluctant to move.

Finally, Ciel speaks. “I’m hungry. D’you have food?”

Sebastian chuckles affectionately at his rudeness. “I can cook for you, if you like.”

Ciel wrinkles his nose. “I don’t want you to cook for me,” he says. “Can you order pizza? I like pepperoni. And I can eat a lot.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sebastian says with a smile. Ciel squirms, and Sebastian immediately releases him, watching as he crawls to the edge of the bed and slides off.

Once he stands, Ciel looks down at the sticky drying cum on his stomach and grimaces. “Can I use your shower?”

“Sure,” says Sebastian. “Guest bedroom is across the hall, and the bathroom should be in there. There’s a few soaps.” He smiles as he continues in a more provocative tone, “I like the rosewater best, if you want my recommendation. It will feel very smooth on your skin, it has a nice fragrance, and I don’t mind the taste, either.”

“Oh my _god_ ,” says Ciel, shaking his head and flushing as he hurries into the bathroom.

Sebastian chuckles as he picks up the phone and orders a large half-pepperoni half-margeruita pizza.

He picks up his book to pass the time waiting for the pizza, but instead finds himself listening to the shower run, trying to picture Ciel soaking wet and rubbing his beautiful little body with soap (hopefully the rosewater). Sebastian would like to take up the soap and massage it into Ciel’s skin, get the boy sweet and sudsy and gasping with pleasure at his touch.

He wonders if Ciel is touching himself right now. He wonders if Ciel has touched himself during the week, thinking of Sebastian the way Sebastian has thought of him.

He realises that he still hasn’t smoked yet.

 

* * *

 

Ciel takes a long shower; by the time he walks into the living room fresh-faced and smelling of roses, the pizza box is open on the dining room table and Sebastian is lifting still-hot slices onto plates. The table has been set with cups and cloth napkins.

“Cloth napkins?” Ciel says, raising an eyebrow. “It’s pizza.”

“I prefer them,” Sebastian says, sliding a plate bearing a single slice of pepperoni pizza over to Ciel.

“Of course you do,” Ciel says, rolling his eyes as he sits down.

“Want a drink? I have water, seltzer, lemonade, or-“

“Lemonade,” says Ciel.

After pouring Ciel a glass of lemonade, Sebastian sits down to enjoy his own pizza. They eat in silence for a while.

“I looked you up,” says Ciel after finishing his second slice.

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“I looked you up on the Internet,” Ciel elaborates, taking another bite of his pizza. “I was curious. I searched ‘Sebastian painter’.”

“And what did you find?” says Sebastian amusedly.

“You’re like… really famous in the art world,” Ciel says. “What’s up with that, Mister Michaelis?”

Sebastian snorts at Ciel’s use of his last name. “I told you that, didn’t I?”

Ciel rolls his eyes. “I feel like you understated it a bit.”

“Perhaps,” Sebastian admits. “I didn’t think it was very important.”

“Yeah, but it’s _cool_ ,” says Ciel.

“Is it really?” Sebastian says absentmindedly as he takes another bite of his pizza.

“You really don’t care, do you?” says Ciel, looking at him intensely. “At first I thought you were just being pompously modest… But you really don’t care.”

Sebastian sighs. “I used to,” he says. “It got old. Money doesn’t buy-“

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” says Ciel. “That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”

Sebastian is somewhat surprised by the outburst. “I take it that you’re having financial problems?”

Ciel huffs out a breath. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m a college student, what do you expect?”

“It’s been a long time since I was a college student,” Sebastian says.

“Ewwww, gross; you’re so old,” says Ciel, shuddering theatrically. “Anyway, I live on ramen and about fifty percent of my wardrobe has holes in it. My dorm is disgusting but I can’t afford my own place. I have to buy the general brands of shit when I shop. It’s unbearable. Money would make me a hell of a lot happier.”

“Well, I apologise if I’ve offended you,” Sebastian says courteously. “But in my own experience, I’ve become incredibly bored and woefully uninspired. I used to love painting so much, but now it feels like a chore.”

Ciel blows a raspberry. “So pick up a new hobby. You’re loaded, it’s not like you need to work to support yourself. Knit or play cribbage, or whatever the hell else old people do.”

Sebastian leans over the table, cupping Ciel’s chin and wiping tomato sauce from his cheek with a thumb. “You’re too young and unexperienced to understand,” he says fondly.

Ciel scowls, batting Sebastian’s hand away. “Suck my ass.”

“Next time, if you like,” Sebastian says lasciviously.

Ciel raises his eyebrows. “‘Next time’? Aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves?”

Realizing his blunder, Sebastian flushes slightly in embarrassment. “Perhaps. Are you saying you don’t want to do this again?”

Tilting his head, Ciel thinks for a moment. “No,” he says finally.

“No as in you don’t want to do this again, or no as in-“

“I’m not bored of you yet,” says Ciel. He finishes his pasta, takes a gulp of water, and looks up. “I hate having dinner without dessert,” he says pointedly.

Sebastian smiles. “How do you feel about homemade chocolate cake?”

 

* * *

 

“If you didn’t already fuck me, I would be letting you fuck me right now,” Ciel informs Sebastian as he licks his fork clean of chocolate in a thorough way that Sebastian very much appreciates. He’s never seen anyone enjoy a sweet this much.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Sebastian says. “You mentioned that I should get a hobby besides painting… I suppose you could call cooking and baking a hobby of mine.”

“I can’t cook or bake for shit,” Ciel says. “This may be the best cake I’ve ever had.”

“I was surprised when you accepted the cake so readily; I thought you didn’t want me to make anything for you,” says Sebastian.

Ciel shrugs. “I didn’t. But chocolate cake always wins.”

“Quite the sweet tooth you have there,” says Sebastian.

“Yeah? And so what?” Ciel says with a frown.

“Oh, nothing; I just find it cute,” says Sebastian with an indulging smile.

Ciel rolls his eyes. “Whatever floats your boat, old man.”

“Are you ever going to stop calling me old?” Sebastian says in exasperation.

“Nah,” says Ciel, scrunching up his face childishly. “Anyway, I need to go soon.”

“Oh, ok,” Sebastian says, somewhat put off by the change of subject. “So when shall I see you next?”

Ciel thinks for a moment, before saying, “Gimme your phone?”

Sebastian fetches his phone from the coffee table where he left it, and hands it to Ciel. Ciel pushes at the buttons for a moment before nodding and handing it to Sebastian. “Alright, I texted my phone. Add that number to your contacts, I’ll add yours.”

 _He’s acting as if I don’t know how phones work_ , Sebastian thinks, but all he does is nod. “Sounds good to me. And should we plan-“

“I’ll text you,” says Ciel.

 

* * *

 

When he’s gone, Sebastian puts the dishes in the dishwasher and the napkins in the laundry, closes the box of pizza and puts it in the fridge.

Then he goes into his workroom and begins work on a new piece. By the time he collapses into bed at 4 in the morning, it has started to look like a boy lying in a field of silvery roses and black grass; the boy’s one deep blue eye is the only vivid color present in the picture.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not dating him; you all know I don’t date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated this weekend, just as promised! thanks for staying with me, you guys <3

“Sebastian? Are you even listening?”

Sebastian looks up, startled from his reverie about Ciel’s inner thighs, to find all of his friends staring at him. He smiles sheepishly, saying, “I beg your pardon, I was spacing out. What were you saying, Will?”

“Honestly,” William scoffs, adjusting his glasses. “It’s as if you’re in another world.”

“We’re splitting the check, my friend,” says Agni, a helpful smile on his face.

“Classic Michaelis. Trying to get away without paying the check, are you?” Claude says spitefully.

“Ooh, Bassy, you horrible man!” says Grell, leaning on William’s shoulder and feigning a swoon. “I truly don’t understand how I ever loved you.”

Sebastian sighs, pinching his brow with one hand. “So I got distracted. Would you cut me some slack?”

He often wonders why he chooses to hang out with these people.

Agni has been his best friend since high school. The man is a genuine saint, and keeping him around makes Sebastian feel good about himself.

He met Grell in their freshman year of college. Both of them were art majors, although Grell’s medium of choice was an idiosyncratic brand of performance art that Sebastian has never really seen the appeal of. He spent most of his time dodging her romantic advances, but ended up supporting her as she went through her transition, getting into a few fights with a few transphobic assholes.

He met William at a college exhibition when the man came up to him and told him exactly what he thought of Sebastian’s paintings. “Melodramatic, but showing promise.” At first Sebastian was infuriated, but when William offered to be his agent, he realised that “melodramatic, but showing promise” was a glowing compliment from William T. Spears. And William has made him a very successful artist; the man is a genius at his job and Sebastian admires him for that. Their relationship was cemented, for better or for worse, when Grell went to one of Sebastian’s shows and immediately forgot her feelings for Sebastian in favor of William. No one was more surprised than William himself when he and Grell got engaged.

As for Claude… well. None of them are actually sure _why_  they hang out with him. Claude is a sculptor, a creator of eerie and grotesque pieces. He isn’t quite as successful as Sebastian, but his most popular series is the spider series— depictions of wretched souls in webs, or spiders spilling out of the mouths of young children. He sort of grappled onto Sebastian at a gallery show and no one’s been bothered enough to tell him to get lost.

Anyway, together they’re a fairly volatile bunch. Sometimes Sebastian feels as if he’d rather murder them instead of spending another minute in their company; but for the most part, he takes a sort of dry amusement out of it all.

“To be honest, Bassy, you’ve seemed somewhat out of it for this entire night,” Grell says, leaning forward.

“That’s true,” Agni says with a concerned frown. “Are you all right?”

“I’m absolutely fine,” says Sebastian.

“I know what it is,” says Claude. He’s smiling lasciviously. “He’s distracted because he’s had a good fuck.”

Sebastian sighs, trying and failing to keep a similarly lascivious smile off of his own face. “Oh, get bent.”

“I still find it incredible that anyone would want to sleep with the likes of _you_ ,” William says.

“Your fiancee notwithstanding,” Sebastian shoots back, and William glares at him, speechless.

Grell giggles. “Boys, stop fighting over me! Come now, Bassy, spill! Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Or the lucky man,” adds Agni. He’s grinning widely. “I’ve been waiting for you to start dating, my friend!”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “I’m not _dating_ him; you all know I don’t date. I brought him home, we fucked once, it was good enough to go again. Now it’s probably going to be a regular thing.”

“That good, huh?” says Claude.

“He’s delicious,” says Sebastian, before he can help himself; Ciel’s shuddering, naked body is back in his head.

“You’re repulsive,” says William, taking off his glasses and rubbing his face.

“Awww, guys, William is getting all blushy!” Grell coos, throwing her arms around William’s shoulders. “Baby, you have got to stop being so much of a prude!”

“Unhand me,” mumbles William, his face now a bright crimson.

“Ooh, how I love it when you’re embarrassed!” Grell says, kissing all over his face. “You turn such a beautiful shade of _red_ -”

“Do you mind?” Claude says, sounding as if he’s about to be physically ill. “I’ve just finished eating.”

Grell glares at Claude, and for a moment Sebastian thinks that he’s off the hook.

But then Agni says, “So what is he like, this lover of yours?”

Sebastian cringes. “For fuck’s sake, Agni, can you not use that word?”

“Please forgive me,” Agni says with an innocent smile. “What is he like, this person you are fucking to ignore the fact that you are advancing in age and have not yet found companionship?”

Sebastian glares at him before collecting himself and responding. “He’s… rude. Brash. Very sure of himself. Smart, biting wit… and he has such a lovely voice.”

“That does sound nice,” Claude says, sitting up slightly. “What does he look like?”

“Beautiful blue eyes, hair dyed blue-gray,” Sebastian says, falling back into his Ciel fantasies. “Short, slim build, nice posture… he’s a very noble-looking twink.”

“How delightful,” Claude says.

“Where did the two of you meet?” says Grell, leaning forward with her chin resting on her hands.

“A Starbucks,” Sebastian says.

“How romantic,” says William with a roll of his eyes. “And I suppose you took him back to your place so you could wow him with your needlessly grandiose apartment?”

“Well, that… and I wasn’t exactly about to fuck in a college dorm again,” Sebastian says without thinking. “I’m not _that_  nostalgic for the old days.”

It takes a moment of silence for Sebastian to realize that he’s made a mistake.

“Sebastian Michaelis…” William says slowly. “Are you saying… am I understanding you correctly?”

“You’re fucking a _college student_!” Grell crows.

“God, I’m jealous,” says Claude.

“Disgusting,” William says. “Talk about having a midlife crisis.”

“I am _not_ having a midlife crisis!” says Sebastian.

“Ooh, no, of course not,” Grell says pleasantly. “You’re just attempting to relive your college years with a little boy!”

“He is nineteen years old, for your information,” says Sebastian indignantly.

“Did you take his virginity?” Claude asks, his cheeks ruddy.

Sebastian glares at him. “God, no, Claude, I did not. Will you quit being so fucking creepy?”

“Please. Don’t waste your breath, Bassy,” says Grell with a giggle. “Might as well try and tell a cat not to scratch.”

“Ah, another charming third grade insult. You wound me, Grell,” says Claude dryly.

“How _dare_ you insult my intelligence?” demands Grell, standing up suddenly. “I will have you know—“

“ _Anyway_ ,” Sebastian says quickly. “I need to get back home. Would you all just drop it?”

As he walks out of the bar, beginning the fifteen minute walk back to his apartment, Agni catches up with him. “You were awfully quiet in there,” Sebastian says dryly. “That disappointed in me, huh?”

Agni puts his large, gentle hands on Sebastian’s shoulders, staring at Sebastian intensely. “I just want you to allow yourself happiness, my friend.” Then he turns and walks off in the other direction.

Sebastian bristles. “What do you mean by that?” he calls out at Agni’s retreating back. “‘Allow myself’? If I could be happy, I would be!”

Agni does not reply, and Sebastian huffs out a frustrated breath before resuming his walk home.

 

* * *

 

Three days later, he starts to get impatient, wondering when Ciel is going to call.

A week later, he starts to worry that Ciel is never going to call.

A day after that, his phone rings at midnight.

He’s in his workroom when it rings, and he hurriedly wipes paint of his hands so he can pick it up before it goes to voicemail. “Hello?”

“This is Ciel.” The voice sounds a bit lazy and slurred, but it’s definitely Ciel, alright.

Sebastian smiles. “Good evening, Ciel. How are you?”

“Kinda drunk.”

“I can tell,” Sebastian says with a chuckle.

“Only a lil’ bit, though,” says Ciel defensively. “A couple drinks at a bar.”

Sebastian frowns, finding that he doesn’t like the idea of Ciel drinking alone at a bar. “Are you with your friends?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Ciel says. “Alois ’n Lizzie ’n Sieglinde. We’re out on the town.”

“Having fun?” says Sebastian.

“No,” Ciel says bluntly. “This place sucks. I’ve already been groped by three guys and one lady.”

Sebastian feels anger rush through him. “I’m sorry about that,” he says, trying to keep his tone even. “Maybe you should leave the bar.”

“Maybe I should,” agrees Ciel. “Maybe I should… I should go… you!”

“I’m sorry?”

“Your place,” Ciel says impatiently. “I should come over. Can I come over?”

“Of course,” Sebastian says without thinking. “Of course you can come over.”

“Cooooool,” Ciel says, drawing out the word. “Y’re like… ten minutes away from here? Twenty? I dunno, I’ll figure it out.”

“Ciel, don’t walk,” says Sebastian, not trusting the boy to find his way here whilst inebriated. “Take a taxi.”

“What’re you… what?” Ciel says. “Are you serious? I don’t have the money for—“

“Don’t worry, I’ll reimburse you,” says Sebastian.

He somewhat expects Ciel to protest this, but Ciel immediately says, “Ok. Be there soon,” and hangs up the phone.

Five minutes later, Sebastian gets another call.

“I’m in the taxi. What’s your address again?”

Sebastian chuckles and relays it to Ciel, grateful that the boy has found a taxi without issue.

He hurries to clean himself up before Ciel arrives, changing clothes and spraying on a bit of cologne right as the doorbell rings.

“Hey,” he says as he opens the door. “How was the ride?”

“Bumpy,” says Ciel, scooting past Sebastian to enter the apartment. He seems a bit more sober than when he was on the phone, but there’s still a flush on his cheeks and a stumble in his step; it’s quite cute.

“How much did it cost?” Sebastian asks, reaching for his wallet on the table near the door. “I can-“

“We can talk about money later,” says Ciel, grabbing the wallet and throwing it back on the table. “Fuck me now.” Same as last time, he grabs Sebastian’s lapels and gets on his tip-toes for a kiss.

Sebastian returns the kiss for a moment, before putting his hands on Ciel’s shoulders and gently pushing him back. “Hold on,” he says. “Ciel, how drunk are you? I don’t want—“

“Oh, ew…” says Ciel. “Don’t get all lovey-dovey on me now. I’m drunk and horny, ravish me or I’m gonna leave.”

“Very well,” says Sebastian with a sigh. He throws Ciel over his shoulder, allowing himself a smile when the boy laughs raucously and feigns as if he’s going to wriggle out of Sebastian’s grip.

“You always throw me around, you brute,” says Ciel as he’s tossed onto the bed, holding out his arms and spreading his legs for Sebastian to crawl between them. When Sebastian gets close enough, Ciel wraps around him like a koala.

“I can’t help it,” murmurs Sebastian, leaning in to mouth at Ciel’s neck. “You’re so petite and yet so assertive; it takes a firm hand to pin you down.”

Ciel shivers violently, tightening his grip on Sebastian as if he’s afraid of being blown away. “You… you’re so creepy…”

“I think you like it,” says Sebastian, giving Ciel’s neck a bite and listening with satisfaction to the resulting squeak. “I also think I’m going to take off your clothes now.”

Ciel nods, relinquishing his grip on Sebastian so that he can be undressed. Once all of his clothes have been removed, Sebastian goes to kiss him again, but Ciel puts a hand over Sebastian’s mouth to stop him. “Wait,” he says.

“What is it?” says Sebastian, leaning back and hoping that Ciel hasn’t changed his mind.

Ciel drags his hand down to tug at Sebastian’s shirt. “You’re always… you’ve never take your clothes off when we’ve fucked.”

“True,” says Sebastian.

“Well… can you?” says Ciel, playing with one of Sebastian’s shirt buttons as if about to undo it.

Sebastian considers it for a moment. Truthfully, he doesn’t know exactly why he doesn’t undress during sex; it’s become such a habit that he doesn’t even think about it.

But Ciel is looking up at him with big, glossy mismatched eyes, deep and hazy blues popping against skin flushed drunken red, that succulent bottom lip bitten by ivory white teeth, and Sebastian doesn’t believe it would even be possible for him to say no to such a request.

“Very well,” he says, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and backing off the bed to hang it over the desk chair. While he’s up, he also removes his socks, pants, and underwear. “This better?” he says, turning back to Ciel with a sheepish smile.

Ciel’s eyes widen slightly, and he’s silent for a moment. Sebastian feels his cheeks warm, regrets this entire situation. There’s no way a nineteen year old boy, young and strong and gorgeous, is ever going to be enthralled by the physique of a thirty-five year old—

“Shit, you’re gorgeous,” says Ciel, sitting up slightly. “I can’t fucking believe you’ve been covering that up, all this time.”

Sebastian smiles. _Of course, I had nothing to worry about_. “My apologies,” he says, getting back on the bed and between Ciel’s legs. “Shall we continue?”

Ciel grins. “I grabbed this while you were changing,” he says, holding up the lube teasingly.

Sebastian preps him with one hand, placing the other hand firmly on his smooth tummy to keep him from wriggling. Ciel keeps moaning and calling his name, the alcohol apparently making him more impatient than he usually is. Finally, Sebastian can’t take it any more and grips Ciel’s shoulder as he guides his cock inside.

It takes him a few minutes, a few firm thrusts into that beautiful plump ass, before Sebastian realizes that he isn’t fucking Ciel from behind.

He _always_  fucks from behind. Always, always. He hates having to make eye contact with partners during sex; it’s awkward, and they usually end up saying something ridiculous like ‘I love you’.

But when he meets Ciel’s eyes, it’s not awkward at all. It’s enthralling; he gets lost in blues. And when Ciel opens his mouth, he doesn’t say ‘I love you’. He says, “Why the _fuck_ are you slowing down? Faster, Sebastian… fucking faster!”

And Sebastian complies. When he eventually comes, pushed over the edge by Ciel’s clenching body and high-pitched cries, he gets to stifle his groans by kissing Ciel deeply. It’s nice.

Ciel falls asleep in Sebastian’s bed, clearly worn out from a night of barhopping and sex. Sebastian doesn’t have the heart to wake him, also quite tired himself. Instead, he pulls the boy close to him , planning on resting for a few minutes before getting up to clean both of them off.

He ends up falling asleep, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter we will meet Ciel's friends :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiding a little secret, were we?

The next morning, Sebastian is so surprised to find someone else in his bed that he nearly pushes Ciel to the floor. Thankfully, he remembers the events of last night in time, and freezes as he debates what to do next.

The boy is nestled against his front, his back against Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian has to gently shift back on the bed until he can stand up without possibly waking Ciel.

Once he does, he stands and stares at Ciel for a while, wondering what exactly his next move should be. He’s never let a hook-up stay the night before, and this whole situation frankly terrifies him.

 _Well, he’s going to be hungry, isn't he?_  Sebastian thinks suddenly. _I should make food_. And he can’t think of any logical argument against that.

As he’s pulling on boxers and pajama pants, he decides to make something simple, just pancakes. Nothing to give Ciel the impression that this little sleepover means anything significant. Just pancakes, and maybe eggs if there’s enough left over. And maybe…

“Wha-?”

He turns around to see Ciel sitting up in bed, blinking in confusion. “Where am I?” he mumbles.

“Good morning,” Sebastian says awkwardly. “Um, you’re in my bed.”

“Sebastian?” says Ciel, turning to face him. Suddenly, he winces and puts a hand over his face. “Fuck.”

“Hangover?” says Sebastian. “I can bring you some Advil and water.”

“Please,” says Ciel, using both hands to rub his temples.

 _I want to do that for him,_ Sebastian thinks. _Massage his headaches away._ He shakes off the thought, gets the Advil and brings it, along with a glass of water, to Ciel.

Ciel gulps it down. “Thanks,” he says gratefully.

“Of course,” says Sebastian. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, this isn’t the worst hangover I’ve ever had by a long shot,” says Ciel.

“Well, good,” says Sebastian. “Um, but what I meant was… are you alright with what happened?”

Ciel gives him an alarmed look. “What are you talking about?”

“You know,” Sebastian says with a shrug. “The whole ‘we had sex while you were drunk’ thing?”

“Oh, geez, you scared me,” says Ciel, putting a hand on his heart. “Nah, I’m fine. Not the first time I’ve gotten drunk and woken up in bed with someone.”

“Oh,” says Sebastian, somewhat crestfallen.

“But this is definitely better than the other times,” Ciel adds.

Sebastian smiles, suddenly in high spirits. “I’m glad to hear it,” he says. “You must be hungry. I was going to make pan-“

“No thanks,” says Ciel, tossing off the covers to reveal his naked body and stretching languidly.

Sebastian experiences a weird mixture of arousal and disappointment. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” says Ciel, finding his clothes on the bedside table and proceeding to dress. “I really have to go. Lots of work.”

“It wouldn’t take too long for me to make breakfast,” says Sebastian. He doesn’t know why he’s pushing against Ciel leaving so much; isn’t it exactly what he wants?

“I’ll grab a bagel on my way back,” says Ciel, pulling his sweater on. He heads out the door to grab his satchel and shoes, Sebastian on his tail, until he stops in his tracks and Sebastian nearly collides with him. “Shit,” he says. “No money for a bagel.”

“That’s no problem,” says Sebastian, going to the table near the door and grabbing his wallet where Ciel threw it last night. “I owe you money, remember?” He opens the wallet and, after a moment of thought, grabs a fifty dollar bill and two twenties and gives them to Ciel.

Ciel takes the money, looks at it. Looks back up at Sebastian. “This is not how much the cab costed,” he says. "Not even close." 

“I know,” says Sebastian. “But… you were talking about money troubles, weren’t you? I just… I have a lot of money. You should have some of it.”

“I’m not a whore,” Ciel says.

“I know!” Sebastian says quickly. “I know that. I just…”

Ciel raises an eyebrow. “Sugar daddy, huh?”

Sebastian shrugs and smiles, relieved. “If you like.”

After a moment of consideration, Ciel solemnly says. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Happy to help,” Sebastian says. He stoops down to pick up Ciel’s bag and hand it to him. “I suppose you should get going.”

Ciel nods, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “I’ll text you?” he asks. It’s the first time he’s actually asked about meeting, instead of flatly announcing when they’ll next meet.

“Whenever you like,” says Sebastian, turning the doorknob and holding the door open, watching Ciel leave.

 

* * *

 

Ciel had somewhat hoped to sneak back into his dorm room without attracting the attention of his suite mates. But the moment he steps into the common area of their suite, he finds Lizzie on the couch, dressed in a tank top and satiny pajama shorts, lying on her stomach and surfing her laptop.

She looks up as the door shuts behind him. “Look who’s here,” she says, shutting her laptop and sitting up. “Come here, you little slut, tell me how it was.”

Ciel collapses on the couch. “God…” he says. “Fantastic. I came so hard I almost forgot my own name again.”

Lizzie sighs, shaking her head. “You’ve had such a good run, lately.”

“Yeah, right?” says Alois, suddenly appearing from behind the couch and sitting down next to him.

“Where the fuck were you?” Ciel says, starting in surprise.

“On the floor, stretching,” says Alois. “But let’s not change the subject. Stop taking all the good men, Ciel.” He deflates a little bit as he adds, “I mean, it’s not like I’d be taking them, I guess…”

Ciel pats his shoulder encouragingly. “Well…” he says slowly, fidgeting a bit. “I wasn’t going to tell you guys this, but since it’s more of a thing, now… it’s the same guy.”

“What?” say Lizzie and Alois in unison.

“The last three times I’ve gotten laid? I’ve been fucking the same guy,” says Ciel.

“Shut the fuck up,” Alois says loudly.

The door to Sieglinde’s room slams open. “People are trying to read about dinosaur cryptid theories, here!” After a moment, Sieglinde enters the main room, carefully manipulating her crutches as she makes a beeline for the couch.

“Are we going to have a problem with those dinosaur cryptids?” Lizzie asks, moving over so she can pull Sieglinde in and wrap her arms around her. “I know for a fact that you didn’t go to bed until 3:30 last night because you were too busy reading about them.” Pressing a kiss to Sieglinde’s temple, she adds, “Those pretty green eyes are gonna fall out!”

“Look who’s talking about pretty green eyes,” says Sieglinde, kissing Lizzie on the nose.

Alois sighs. “When exactly are you two going to close your open relationship, again?”

“After college,” the two women say in unison.

“Anyway, what’s all the yelling about?” says Sieglinde.

“Ciel’s got a boyfriend,” says Alois.

“I do _not_ ,” Ciel says loudly, before putting his head in his hands. “Ugh… this is why I didn’t want to tell you guys.”

 

* * *

 

Ciel often finds himself incredibly exasperated by the three of them, but he never stops being unendingly grateful that he managed to find a group of friends who love and support him.

Lizzie has been his friend since they were five, next-door neighbors until her family moved away when they were thirteen. They stayed in touch, though, and made sure to meet up whenever they could get the chance. When they both expressed interest in the same college, it proved to be an excellent chance for them to live close to each other again.

Ciel met Sieglinde when he took a semester of German in the spring of their freshman year; she was the teaching assistant. He struggled somewhat with the class, and she agreed to meet with him personally to tutor him. On one of those occasions, she met Lizzie.

This began a very tumultuous semester, during which the two women openly despised each other and attempted to use Ciel in order to make the other one angrier. This eventually culminated in the two of them realizing that they were absolutely mad for each other, and they’ve been very enthusiastically together ever since; but they still have an open relationship, still occasionally hooking up with other people, claiming that they’re too young and flirty to get tied up in one relationship. It’s very obvious that they’re going to become exclusive someday, though.

Lizzie met Alois when they were in a dance show together, and he became a member of their little squad fairly quickly. He was charming, loving, and flirty, but it was easy to see that he had some issues. Not only did he go to every party, get smashed out of his mind, and go home with the first man who was willing; he also suffered from vicious mood swings, bouncing between mania and depression, and self-harmed.

By the end of their first year of college, he was a genuine danger to his own safety, and the three of them helped him make the decision to take a year off from school. However, once he confessed to them what exactly he would be facing if he returned home to his father, they all agreed to let him live in the suite they would have in their sophomore year. Currently he’s off drugs, booze, and sex, taking his medication regularly and seeing a therapist. He’s improving, and they’re all ferociously proud of him.

It’s a nice little family, very supportive and intimate. However, that means that whenever Ciel gets a new partner, he has to get the third degree from three very energetic and nosy people; this is why he’s been putting off telling them about Sebastian.

 

* * *

 

“So, if it’s not a boyfriend, then what… you got a new fuckbuddy?” says Sieglinde.

Ciel feels his face flush. “…Yeah,” he says reluctantly.

“What’s he like?” says Lizzie.

Ciel thinks of Sebastian, and sighs. “Tall; much taller than me. Dark hair, kinda weird hairstyle, like it’s messy? But it suits him. Pale skin, reddish brown eyes. He’s… very handsome. Very fit. His dick is awesome.”

“How big?” says Alois.

“Gotta be at least 8 inches, erect.”

“Ohhh…” Alois exhales, sliding down in his seat. “I miss dick…”

“Well, what’s his personality like?” says Lizzie.

Ciel shrugs. “He’s nice enough. But also kind of like your typical perverted older guy.”

“Wait, wait. How old?” says Sieglinde.

Ciel allows himself a smirk. “Thirty-five.”

“Shut the FUCK UP, Ciel Phantomhive,” says Lizzie, smacking him on the arm.

Ciel rubs at the point of contact, wincing. “He’s rich, too,” he adds before he can stop himself. “He’s a pretty famous artist.”

“Ooh, has he given you any dreamy artsy comments?” Lizzie says eagerly.

Ciel shrugs. “Nah, we’re not like that. He says I have a tight ass, if that counts.”

“It does,” Alois says, nodding solemnly. Ciel rolls his eyes.

“What’s his name?” says Sieglinde.

“Sebastian. Sebastian Michaelis,” says Ciel, relishing how his tongue curls around the name.

Sieglinde has pulled out her phone and is now typing intently. “Ah,” she says suddenly. “Sebastian Michaelis. The Hellscape series.”

“That’s it,” says Ciel, watching as Alois and Lizzie crowd around Sieglinde to look at her phone. He feels oddly nervous, as if it’s his own art that’s being scrutinized.

“It’s alright,” Sieglinde says after a moment.

“Alright?” says Ciel. “Just alright?”

Lizzie shrugs. “Kind of moody.”

“He seems like a real downer,” Alois agrees.

“Well, _I_  like them,” Ciel says defensively.

“Mmmm, of course _you_ do,” says Sieglinde. “Gotta support the bae’s artwork.”

“Wha- Sieglinde!” says Ciel angrily, standing up. “We’re fucking. No strings attached. If anything, he may be my sugar daddy, but we are _not dating_.”

“Wait, is he giving you money?” says Lizzie.

“Yep. He gave me ninety bucks this morning,” says Ciel.

“Why would he give you money?” Sieglinde says, frowning. “He knows that you’re Ciel Phantomhive, heir to the Phantomhive family fortune, right?”

Ciel smiles smugly. “Well… I may have left that part out when I was telling him about how poor I am right now.”

Lizzie gasps. “You mean to tell me that he thinks you’re actually poor, and not just temporarily cut off from your parent’s money?”

“Maaaaybe,” says Ciel. Looking at her disapproving face, he says defensively, “Lizzie, what my dad did was totally unfair! Cutting me off so I could ‘see how the other half lives’; what bullshit!”

"You're going to inherit a multi-million dollar company when your father retires, Ciel," Lizzie says, glaring at him. "I find quite it hard to feel bad for you." 

“Sebastian is giving you money because he thinks you’re genuinely poor,” says Alois, looking stunned. “And he’s great at sex. Ciel, you’re living the dream. The evil, evil dream.”

“Maybe,” says Ciel modestly.

Lizzie shakes her head. “You’re such an ass, Ciel Phantomhive. How do you expect to have a good relationship with your new boyfriend if you’re not honest with him?"

“He’s not my-“ Ciel begins indignantly, before realizing he’s being provoked.

“The lady doth protest too much,” says Sieglinde with a cackle.

Ciel scowls. “Fuck all of you. I’m gonna go shower.”

 

* * *

 

“I’ve got it,” Sebastian announces into his cell, standing in his studio and staring his newest draft of a painting.

On the other side of the phone, William sighs. “And just what exactly do you have?”

“My series. For the gallery. Will, you have to come over, you have to see—“

“I’m in the middle of taking my lunch,” says William.

“Will, it’s so cool, come on,” Sebastian whines. “You have to see, you have to see!”

“You are a five year old in an oversized body,” William informs him coldly.

“Williaaaaaam,” whines Sebastian.

William sighs again, longer this time. “Give me thirty minutes. You had better not be wasting my time, I’m on a very busy schedule.”

“Aren’t you always?” says Sebastian with a grin.

William hangs up on him.

“I don’t know the name of it, yet,” says Sebastian, as he leads William into his studio about thirty minutes later. “I only know what it’s going to look like.”

William raises an eyebrow. “Well, what is it going to look like?” he asks.

“Like… this,” Sebastian says, uncovering the painting in progress.

“A boy,” says William, surveying the painting. “And blue.”

“Works centered around this idea of the boy, surrounded by blue,” says Sebastian. “Lonesome, proud. He was suffering, so he made a deal with the devil. He’s doomed to hell and he knows it, isn’t afraid of it. And there’s still so much purity left in him, even amongst his corruption. That’s what draws the devil to him.”

“Hmmm,” says William.

“I’d maybe put hints of the hellscape,” Sebastian continues. “A painting of the boy, surrounded in blue, reaching up to grab a shadowy black hand, taloned and inhuman, that comes from a mass of hellscape. When they meet, it’s purple, perhaps? I haven’t decided yet.”

“I see,” says William. After a moment of thought, he nods. “Very well.”

They’ve known each other long enough for Sebastian to understand that Will has just given his approval. “Wonderful,” he says with a smile. “Trust me, Will, this’ll be better than the Hellscapes. More… substantial. More contrast and intrigue. And this boy, he’s perfect. I don’t know where he came from, but something about him is-“

He hears a strange noise, turns his head, and is shocked to see William covering his mouth and snickering softly. “What is it?” he says, bewildered.

“You do realize that this ‘perfect’ boy is the same boy you’re currently in a revolting relationship with,” says William, a smug smile on his face.

Sebastian opens his mouth, closes it again. “I’m… we’re not in a relationship,” he says. “And I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. And-“

“Oh, of course,” says William loftily, straightening his glasses. “Whatever gets you working on this show, Sebastian. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m sure Grell will be thrilled to hear about this.”

Sebastian watches William pull out his phone, lacking the strength to stop him, still trying to argue against the boy’s similarities to Ciel in his own head.

 _Well, the boy in the paintings is younger, a young adolescent, probably,_ he consoles himself. _And I’m not in a relationship with a young adolescent. That would be sick…_

For some reason, it doesn’t really make him feel any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long!!!! but finals are over aND I AM FREEEEEEE


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian has always been pretty skeptical when it comes to the subject of the 'muse'. He’s always believed that inspiration should come from within, that the idea of another living person being the source of the inspiration is tacky and naive.
> 
> But Ciel… Ciel changes things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the short chapter! it was either that or wait a few more days and if it were me i'd rather have the shorter chapter sooner, especially since this chapter starts off with something very juicy ;)

One day, Sebastian takes Ciel to lunch at a French cafe. They eat their fill of fresh bread, cheese, a Nicoise salad, soup, and quiche before getting sweet crepes for dessert; too much, maybe, but Ciel has been talking about how much he loves French food and how he can never afford it.

When they get back to Sebastian’s apartment, they’re horny but too full and lazy to do much about it. Sebastian gives Ciel a hand job, watching Ciel whine and squirm and fall apart. Ciel sucks Sebastian off, that small mouth needing to be aided by those small hands until Sebastian throws back his head and comes with a grown.

Then they settle in to watch a movie. As they watch, Ciel leans into Sebastian, placing a forearm on Sebastian’s thigh.

Sebastian looks at the arm, looks at Ciel’s slender, bony wrist. “Ciel,” he says after a while. “Have… have you ever considered bondage before?”

He gets no immediate reply, and when Sebastian looks over he sees that Ciel’s face is flushed. “I… I mean I’ve… I’ve heard about it…”

“If it makes you feel uncomfortable, I’ll drop the subject,” Sebastian says quickly.

“No, I… do you want to?” says Ciel.

“Oh, Ciel…” Sebastian says reverently, taking Ciel’s wrists in his hands. “You would look so deliciously helpless with your arms tied behind your back… straps of black leather on your pale skin…”

Ciel moans, pushing away from Sebastian and shoving his head into one of the couch cushions. “I hate you…”

“Shall I take that as a yes?” says Sebastian with a smile, reaching out a hand to rub Ciel’s back.

 

* * *

 

 

And less than a week later, Sebastian has Ciel kneeling on the bed, tying his little wrists behind his back with soft black leather.

When he’s sure the knots are comfortable but secure, he sits back to admire his handiwork. The black straps pop against chinaware skin, and the position forces Ciel to push his chest out and widen his legs for balance.

“ _Fuck_ ,” says Sebastian, the curse sounding like a prayer on his tongue.

“I’m not going to be able to sit like this for a long time,” says Ciel, twitching and pulling at the leather.

He sounds more prickly than usual, and Sebastian now knows to interpret that as a manifestation of nerves. “It won’t be for a long time,” he says, rubbing Ciel’s biceps soothingly. “I’ll be moving you soon.”

“This better be worth it,” says Ciel, shaking off Sebastian’s caress.

“Oh, it will,” Sebastian says, moving his hands up to gently hold Ciel’s head, rubbing his thumbs in circles on plump peach cheeks. “Relax, little one.”

Ciel leans into the touch, closing his eyes and letting out a shuddery breath.

“Do I have your permission to continue?” Sebastian says, leaning in to press a kiss to Ciel’s forehead.

“Yes,” Ciel whispers, his eyes still closed.

“Thank you,” says Sebastian. “Remember, if you want to stop at any point, all you need to do is say so.”

“I remember,” Ciel says, still whispering.

Sebastian pulls out a final strip of leather, thicker and softer than the other ones. Carefully he ties it around Ciel’s head, covering those big mismatched eyes. He’s reluctant to hide that beautiful blue, but is enamoured by the way Ciel shivers slightly as his breath hits the boy’s skin.

“What’s the point of this?” says Ciel in a demanding tone of voice.

“Patience, little one,” says Sebastian, gently running a finger up from Ciel’s belly button to his collarbones and smiling as he gasps and quivers. “See that? Much more sensitive without your eyes.”

“Eye,” corrects Ciel breathlessly.

 _Unbelievable._  “Yes, eye,” amends Sebastian, reaching out to pinch Ciel’s nipple.

“Oh god,” says Ciel, struggling against his bonds.

“Would you like to stop?” says Sebastian.

“Fuck you,” says Ciel, pushing his chest further out.

Now Sebastian maps out Ciel’s torso with his hands. Ciel sighs if he caresses, moans if he rubs, and hisses if he scratches. It’s a delicious orchestra of sound that makes Sebastian very hard, very quickly.

And it makes Ciel hard too; his erection begins to press against his smooth stomach. He wriggles and bites his lip in a futile effort to stifle the noises. Sebastian grins and continues to tease, waiting for Ciel to say something.

“Sebastian…” Ciel finally breathes, pushing his body into Sebastian’s hands.

“Ciel,” Sebastian replies, scratching behind Ciel’s ear.

Like a cat, Ciel leans his head into the scratch, letting out what starts as a sigh and ends in a frustrated moan. “Sebastian!”

“Ciel,” Sebastian replies, tweaking a nipple and getting a squawking noise for his troubles.

“Are you going to continue or not?” Ciel demands, his cheeks flaming red.

“I was waiting for you to ask,” says Sebastian.

“You are not going to get me to beg, bastard,” Ciel says, and Sebastian can feel the force of his glare through the blindfold. “Now continue this instant.”

“As you wish,” says Sebastian with a big grin that Ciel can’t see. Leaning forward, he kisses Ciel firmly on the lips while running a hand down the boy’s abdomen.

When Ciel moans and kisses back, Sebastian quickly takes that cute little cock in hand and tugs at it, causing Ciel to cry out and squirm like mad. “Good boy,” he mutters, licking the ridge of Ciel’s ear. “You’re a good boy.”

“I’m-” says Ciel before cutting himself off with what sounds like a sob, rocking his hips into Sebastian’s hand.

Sebastian hums, pressing kisses onto Ciel’s cheek and neck. “You want to say it?” he asks. “You want to tell me that you’re a good boy?”

“I’m… I’m…” Ciel shudders violently before whispering, “…I’m a good boy.”

Sebastian inhales sharply before exhaling on a groan, feeling his erection throb. “So _good_ ,” he hisses, using his other hand to stroke Ciel’s head.

“I want to come!” declares Ciel. “Make me come!”

“Now, that’s not how my good boy asks for something, is it?” Sebastian says, loosening his grip on Ciel’s cock. “Ask nicely. Use your manners.”

Ciel sobs again, shaking his head from side to side. “I won’t… I _can't_ …”

“If you don’t ask nicely, I’m afraid I can do nothing for you,” says Sebastian, still stroking Ciel’s head. “And I’ll be very disappointed in you.”

“No!” Ciel protests, struggling in his bonds. “No, I…” His voice trails off, and he relaxes, his body becoming limp. “Please,” he says, quiet and meek. “Please will you let me come?”

“Yes,” Sebastian says immediately, wrapping an arm around Ciel’s shaking shoulders, tightening his grip on Ciel’s cock and tugging faster. “Yes, baby. Of course I’ll let you come.”

And Ciel comes, greedily fucking Sebastian’s fist and making high pitched mewls of pleasure. Sebastian growls his approval at the sight; blindfold wet with tears, plump punk lips parted and dripping with saliva, small pink-red cock spewing copious amounts of sticky white come.

As Ciel comes down from his climax, he collapses back into Sebastian’s arm around his shoulders. Sebastian quickly wraps his other arm around Ciel and draws the boy into his embrace, untying the straps and removing the blindfold.

Ciel’s chest heaves as he makes a strangled noise.

“Shhhh,” says Sebastian, his hands on the back of Ciel’s head and the space between Ciel’s shoulder blades.

“Sebastian,” Ciel says, his breathing heavy. “What just-“

“Shhhh,” says Sebastian again. “You’re ok, I’m ok, everything is ok- no, everything is _wonderful_. You did beautifully, you are beautiful.”

“That was so embarrassing,” says Ciel, burying his face in Sebastian’s shoulder. “Ugh, I’m-“

“Not embarrassing,” says Sebastian, nuzzling at Ciel’s hair with his nose. “Beautiful. You did so well.”

Ciel sighs, but his breathing is evening out. A moment later, he says, "I've never come so hard before..."

"Does that mean you liked it?" Sebastian asks.

"Yeah..." says Ciel. "We should... again, sometime..." After a few minutes of being in Sebastian’s embrace, he relaxes completely. After a few more minutes, his breathing gets even slower and Sebastian realizes he’s fallen asleep.

Gently he lays Ciel on the bed and pulls the covers over him. Then he quietly heads over to the bathroom so he can get himself off to the image of Ciel, bound and desperate and eager to be a good boy.

 

* * *

 

After their first foray into bondage, Sebastian begins a painting of the boy, surrounded by dark tendrils, offshoots of the demon.

He describes it to Will as a scene of betrayal: “Their agreement, or their deal, has been damaged somehow,” he says. “The demon is angry—perhaps even hurt, and is trying to bring the boy back into line, in the way that only a demon can.”

Claude makes a remark about tentacle porn and Sebastian is disgusted; Grell finds the whole situation terribly amusing. Will likes it though, and that's what counts. It's one of Sebastian's favourites so far.

Despite the fact that the boy isn't Ciel, and the painting's topic represents literally nothing about their arrangement whatsoever, Sebastian acknowledges that he probably never would have thought of the painting if it wasn't for Ciel. 

In general, it truly seems that the more and more time Sebastian spends with Ciel, the more and more he’s overflowing with inspiration.

Sebastian has always been pretty skeptical when it comes to the subject of the 'muse'. He’s always believed that inspiration should come from within, that the idea of another living person being the source of the inspiration is tacky and naive.

But Ciel… Ciel changes things. Every time Sebastian looks at Ciel he sees a new facet, a new painting. It’s incredible; nothing he’s ever experienced before.

Perhaps all of that muse nonsense has some merit, after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of Ciel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a cute chapter chock-full of fluffy little oneshots about Seb and Ciel's relationship!

“What is your real hair color anyway?” says Sebastian one day on an impulse, running a hand through Ciel’s blue-grey locks.

Ciel makes a face. “It’s gross,” he says. “Brown like muddy water.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” says Sebastian, starting to rub Ciel’s scalp.

Ciel closes his eyes in pleasure, pushing his head into the caress. “It’s bad,” he says. “I’ve been dying it since I was thirteen. At this point, it feels like my natural hair color.”

Sebastian hums. “And why this color?” he says, adding his other hand to rub Ciel’s temples. “This blue-grey?”

“Ah…” Ciel exhales, going cross-eyed and rolling onto his back, Sebastian leaning forward in order to continue the massage. “First of all, it’s called _slate_ , for your information. And I don’t know. I saw it, and I liked it. Why? Something the matter with it?”

“No,” Sebastian says, leaning down to kiss Ciel’s forehead, before wrapping his arms around Ciel’s trim frame and pulling the boy close. “It’s perfect.”

 

* * *

 

“So I thought we could go for sushi- oh my god,” says Ciel as Sebastian opens the door of his apartment.

“What?” says Sebastian.

“What happened?” asks Ciel. “You’re covered in paint.”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. “I’m a painter,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, I know that,” says Ciel with an eye roll. “You’re just not usually coated in paint when I visit.”

“Sorry about that,” says Sebastian, picking at some of the paint on his wrist. “I was so lost in a painting that I forgot you were coming over; I had no time to clean up.”

“That’s fine,” says Ciel, delicately walking past Sebastian in a way that doesn’t get any paint on himself to go sit on the couch. “Go shower, I’ll wait.”

After Sebastian showers, the two of them walk to get sushi (because it’s what Ciel wants, and they always go where Ciel wants).

About five minutes into their walk, Ciel says, “So what exactly were you painting?”

“What?” says Sebastian, looking at him.

“What were you painting?” Ciel repeats.

“You’ve never asked about that before,” says Sebastian, after a brief pause.

Ciel shrugs. “I know. But I’m asking now.”

Sebastian looks forward and sighs. “I don’t like to talk about my art when it’s in progress.”

That’s a lie. Sebastian often shows his friends his art and weighs their reactions. But… this is Ciel. The inspiration for every piece he’s creating. It feels sacrilegious to merge the two worlds.

“Oh,” says Ciel, sounding a bit put off. “I see.”

They walk in silence for a few minutes. Sebastian sneaks a look to see that Ciel’s brows are furrowed. “I can show them to you when I’m done, if you’d like.”

A little more silence. Then, “I would,” says Ciel.

Sebastian can’t keep the small smile off his face as they continue to walk.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ciel,” says Sebastian, lying on his side on the bed and watching Ciel put on eyeliner. That milky blue eye always catches his attention, and he feels as if he can’t wait any longer to ask: “How much would you mind it if I asked you what happened to your eye?”

“Didn’t you just ask me anyway?” Ciel says, turning with a hand on his cocked hip.

“I suppose I did,” Sebastian admits, shameless. “Well?”

“Asshole,” says Ciel mildly. He turns to finish applying the eyeliner. When he’s done, he sighs and says, “It’s always been like that. From birth. I’m surprised it took you so long to ask, actually.”

“I figured it was your business,” says Sebastian. He didn’t really care much, anyway. Lately, however, he’s felt the strangest desire to find out as much as he can about Ciel.

Probably for painting inspiration.

“It’s not a big deal,” says Ciel. “My parents wanted me to cover it, but I decided against it. Eyepatches are annoying as fuck. It’s hard to tell they’re mismatched unless you’re up close, and it’s fun to make people feel bad if they’re unintentionally rude about it.”

“Nice,” says Sebastian, reaching out his arms.

Ciel raises his eyebrows, but steps forward. When he gets close enough, Sebastian pulls him onto his lap, kisses the lid of the milky eye. “Does it hurt?” he mutters.

“Never,” Ciel mutters back.

“Good,” says Sebastian, his kisses spreading to Ciel’s forehead, cheeks, nose, and finally to his lips; this is when Ciel wraps his arms around Sebastian’s neck and kisses back.

 

* * *

 

 

“Pleeeease,” says Sebastian, giving Ciel his best puppy eyes.

“No,” Ciel replies, his arms crossed as he gives Sebastian his sternest face.

“Pleeeeeeeease,” says Sebastian, leaning forward to put his hands on Ciel’s shoulders.

They’ve been dryhumping on Sebastian’s couch, forgetting the movie that they were supposed to be watching. Sebastian’s hand has been plunged down the back of Ciel’s pants, squeezing that plump, soft ass with no trouble. But once his middle finger makes a beeline for Ciel’s hole, he gets shoved away.

Apparently Ciel’s not interested in going ‘all the way’ tonight.

“I’m _sore,_ Sebastian,” Ciel says, arms still folded. “You were rough yesterday.”

“You _wanted_ me to be rough!” protests Sebastian. “You kept on saying ‘Harder’!”

“I remember!” Ciel says, his face flushing slightly. “And you listened. And it was nice. But I’m sore today, Sebastian. Nothing’s going up my ass.”

Sebastian sighs. “Well, there’s blowjobs and stuff, I guess. We can do that.”

“You could always let _me_ fuck _you_ ,” Ciel says dryly, dropping his arms and leaning back on the couch.

Sebastian tilts his head for a moment, considering it. Then he looks at Ciel.

“Wait,” says Ciel, recognizing that look. “Are you seriously thinking-“

“It would be a nice change, wouldn’t it?” says Sebastian. “If you’re comfortable with it, of course.”

Now it’s Ciel’s turn to consider it. “Alright,” he says. “Fine. I’m game.”

They make their way to the bedroom, kissing all the way. Sebastian gets naked, takes out the lube and starts stretching himself; which is weird, it’s been a while since he’s done this. Ciel whines and asks to do it himself; Sebastian turns him down, wanting to ease into this. It takes a little effort to figure out a position that will work.

In the end, it’s a bit awkward, but it’s fun and it feels good. Sebastian doesn’t get off until Ciel blows him, but it doesn’t hurt and Ciel seems to enjoy topping for once.

They both decide that they’ll probably want to do it again, but not in the near future.

 

* * *

 

One time Sebastian gets Ciel off in a movie theatre. It’s a boring movie, dull and slow.

It’s a good hand job, nice and slow. It starts off with Sebastian rubbing a hand on Ciel’s thigh, then sneaking it into Ciel’s pants, unbuttoning the fly and pulling down the boxer briefs. All the while, Sebastian leans his chin on his other hand on the armrest opposite Ciel, casual as can be.

At first Ciel squirms and glares his protest, but a ‘stop’ never leaves his lips, and soon he’s closing his eyes, leaning back and rocking his hips, Sebastian’s hand eventually pressed over his mouth to stop his moans from coming forth for the whole theatre to hear.

Ciel finally comes with a muffled whimper, and Sebastian uses the pack of tissues he brought with him to wipe the sticky come off his hand before stuffing that tiny, limp cock back in Ciel’s boxer briefs and zipping up his jeans.

Too weak to support himself for the moment, Ciel falls against Sebastian’s side and begins to recover his breathing. “I hate you…” he says weakly.

Then Sebastian feels a tap on his shoulder and is blinded by light. “Oh my god,” says the movie attendant. “Did you seriously think you could get away with this?”

So they get kicked out of the movie theatre. Ciel is mortified, murmuring about how they can never show their faces in that theatre again. Sebastian is amused, pointing out that no one will remember who they were.

Just as Ciel is beginning to feel better, Sebastian says, “I mean, no one even actually watches those security cameras—“

“Security cameras…” says Ciel, his eyes widening in horror.

He doesn’t speak to Sebastian for two days, until Sebastian sends him ten texts of apology and offers to buy him a new iPhone (Ciel has the 5 and he wants the 6).

 

* * *

 

As Sebastian is cleaning his room one day after Ciel has gone, he finds his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. He takes a cigarette out and goes to light it, then stops himself.

Every time he tries to smoke when Ciel is around, Ciel will always gag and make faces. “Smoking kills,” he always says, or “I’m not kissing you if you’ve got nasty rotten breath,” or “You’re gonna look damn ugly when your teeth rot.”

Sebastian has always been amused at Ciel’s nineteen-year-old vendetta against smoking, but apparently somewhere along the line it started working. He doesn’t remember the last time he smoked a cigarette.

It had never been an addiction, but he had gotten very accustomed to a smoke now and again; he’s shocked it was so easy to quit.

 

* * *

 

One day Ciel walks into the apartment and immediately sneezes.

“Bless you,” says Sebastian.

“Tha- ah- ahCHOO!” says Ciel, rubbing his reddening nose. “What gives? My allergies are acting up.”

“What are you allergic to?” says Sebastian, nervously looking towards a corner of the room.

“Cats, pollen, and… what’s that face?” Ciel breaks off when he sees how guilty Sebastian looks.

Sebastian sighs. “I _may_  know what’s causing your allergy…”

“Where’s the cat, Sebastian,” says Ciel flatly.

At this moment, the cat in question chooses to meow loudly and make its way from the corner of the room all the way to rub against Ciel’s legs.

Ciel bristles, stepping away until his back hits the door. “I can’t be around it,” he says. “Get it out.”

“But I found her on the street,” says Sebastian, stepping forward to scoop up the cat. “She was wet and cold, Ciel. And look how beautiful she is!”

Ciel looks, and sighs. “No matter how ‘beautiful’ she is,” he says. “It doesn’t change the fact that I can’t stay here as long as she’s here. I mean, I don’t want to do the ‘it’s her or me’ thing, but…”

There’s a nasty pause.

“Well, I’ll give you some time to think about it,” Ciel says, grabbing his bag with a tight grip.

Sebastian has often said how much he loves cats, and Ciel reasons that cats might be more important to him than a sugar baby with a bad temper and a great ass.

But the next day, after much thought, Sebastian searches the area around him for MISSING signs, and finds that his new cat is actually someone’s pet Magenta. He returns Magenta to her proper owners, a nice couple and their four-year-old, and texts Ciel about it almost immediately after.

“You gave away the cat?” Ciel says when they’re making out on Sebastian’s couch that same evening.

“Yeah,” Sebastian says. “What?” he adds, seeing an odd look appear on Ciel’s face. Something fierce and approving.

“Nothing,” is all Ciel says, but he practically yanks Sebastian’s head back down to continue the kiss.

And then he later proceeds to ride Sebastian like there’s no tomorrow, pulling the older man down onto the bed and clambering on top of him, kissing all over Sebastian’s neck and head whilst he’s being prepared, and crashing himself down on Sebastian’s cock, over and over until they’re both gasping with it, until they come whilst moaning in each others mouths, almost sobbing at how well their bodies work together.

 

* * *

 

They have sex, go to sleep, then wake up and have more sex.

Now they’re kissing lazily, lost in their post-coital bliss, rolling around on the mattress. Sebastian is finding Ciel’s tickle spots, and Ciel is giggling and retaliating by lightly batting his hands at Sebastian.

Finally, Sebastian pins Ciel down and starts kissing all over that porcelain jaw. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of Ciel’s taste, of Ciel’s pink-and-cream skin, of Ciel’s childish laughter, of Ciel’s big blue eyes. “I love you,” he says, reaching Ciel’s lips and giving them a firm kiss.

It takes Ciel’s stiffening body and shocked expression to make him realize what he’s said, what he’s done. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops... maybe not gonna be so fluffy after all... >:)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A disgustingly warm and fuzzy feeling is blooming inside of him, as if roses are growing in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry

_“I love you."_

 

* * *

 

 

“You _what_?” exclaims Ciel. He wriggles and pushes Sebastian off of him, Sebastian being too shocked to resist. “What?”

“I… fuck…” says Sebastian, darting his gaze around the room, looking for help.

“You did _not_  just say that,” Ciel says, horrified. “You did not… you—“

“It slipped out,” says Sebastian defensively. “I… I didn’t mean—“

“So you didn’t mean it?” Ciel says. He looks up at Sebastian and waits.

This is an easy out. All Sebastian has to do is say ‘Of course not’, they can pretend it never happened, and maybe get one last fuck in before Ciel has to leave.

But Ciel is sitting there, naked and cross-legged on the bed. His pale skin is peppered with love bites, his hair is mussed. His big blue mismatched eyes watch Sebastian intensely. Sebastian thinks of the sex they just had, of the cuddling and kissing, of his paintings, and of the chocolate caramel banana-nut pancakes he was planning to make and watch Ciel enjoy once they finally got out of bed.

He briefly closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and swallows. “I meant it,” he says, opening his eyes and watching Ciel’s mouth drop open. “I love you, Ciel. Very much.” He’d never thought he could say such a thing to another person, but he knows he means it.

For a long and dreadful moment, Ciel is silent and gaping up at him. Then he takes a deep breath and sighs it out. “Yeah, same here.”

Now Sebastian’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I’m not going to say it out loud!” Ciel snaps. He rolls his eyes and shrugs. “I feel the same. I’ve been thinking about it…”

“Oh,” says Sebastian. A disgustingly warm and fuzzy feeling is blooming inside of him, as if roses are growing in his chest. “I see. So-“

“This sucks,” says Ciel, folding his arms.

Sebastian blinks. “Sucks?” He cannot think of how this scenario, in any way, sucks.

“Yeah. I just thought…” Ciel pauses for a second. “I thought we could stretch this out for a little bit longer before it had to end.”

“End,” repeats Sebastian, and the roses die inside him. He feels foolish and hollow. How could he possibly forget that ‘love’ is the cue for him to cut and run? So embarrassing that a child had to remind him. “Yes, of course. What a shame.”

“Yes,” Ciel echoes, his voice small. He crawls to the edge of the bed, finds his clothes on the ground and begins to dress.

Sebastian stays on the bed, trying to sort out his thoughts. “You know where all of your stuff is?” he says.

“Yeah,” says Ciel, now fully dressed.

Sebastian pulls on sweatpants and runs a hand through his hair as he watches Ciel putter around his apartment and gather clothes, books, and toiletries. “Can I have a bag?” says Ciel.

“Oh, sure,” says Sebastian, and gets him the large canvas bag that he got from one of their trips to the farmer’s market.

He walks Ciel to the door. The tension in the room is almost unbearable. “Good luck with everything,” he says stupidly. “Exams, and all that.”

“Thanks,” says Ciel, avoiding his gaze. “Good luck with your gallery show.”

Sebastian watches the door close on Ciel’s small frame. He listens to Ciel’s footsteps until he can’t hear them anymore, and then turns to face his apartment.

Has it always been so empty? So large? So quiet?

He goes into his workroom, planning on distracting himself by working on one of his pieces. But for the first time in a while, he finds himself completely devoid of inspiration.

 _My muse has left me,_ he thinks for a wild moment. _I watched him walk out my door._ Then he rolls his eyes at his melodrama, grabs a beer, and sits down to watch a movie.

So he let a good lay too close and convinced himself it was love. So what? He’s allowed to make a mistake every now and then. Of course he’ll be able to paint again; he probably just needs to take a night off.

 

* * *

 

It takes him two days to realize that he can’t paint again. Or at least, he can’t paint the blue series.

“William…” he wheedles, entering his agents apartment and making a beeline for the couch. The five friends had planned to meet at William and Grell’s apartment, and Sebastian made sure to arrive early.

“What is your problem, Sebastian,” says William, eyeing him suspiciously. “And for god’s sake, take off your shoes.”

“Oh please, Will, you’re going to get Crohn’s from being such a clean freak,” Grell says with a sigh, making herself comfortable cuddling up to Sebastian on the couch. “What are we going to do when our future children are making a mess?”

“We are most certainly not addressing that right now,” hisses William. “Sebastian, what do you want.”

Sebastian, who has been smiling fondly at William and Grell’s spat, immediately becomes serious again. “You know you’re like the best best best agent in the entire world, right?”

“What did you _do_ ,” William says, stepping closer and glaring at him.

“Ooh, are you two finally going to make out?” Grell says eagerly, squeezing Sebastian’s bicep. “I’ve been waiting so long for—“

“I need you to tell the gallery that I’m switching the theme of the show,” Sebastian says in a rush.

William’s eye twitches. “What,” he says.

“I know it’s inconvenient—“

“‘Inconvenient’?” William says, barking out a laugh. “It’s _impossible_. The show is in two and a half months. You could not possibly manage ten new paintings in two and a half months.”

“Can’t we postpone the show?” says Sebastian desperately.

“Absolutely not,” squawks Will, looking panicked. “Sebastian, you cannot do this to me!”

“Shhhh,” says Grell, pushing away from Sebastian to pull William to sit next to her so that she can rub his back soothingly. “You were so enthusiastic about painting your boyfriend.”

“He is not my-“ Sebastian stops himself, closes his eyes and inhales deeply through his nose. Opening his eyes again, he says, “We ended our arrangement.”

“You broke up?” Grell says loudly.

“We _ended our arrangement,_ ” Sebastian says again, more firmly this time.

Grell sniffs. “Potato, potahto,” she says, grabbing her phone and starting to type furiously.

“Well, my apologies,” William says stiffly. “I know you were fond of that boy. But just because you’re heartbroken doesn’t mean you can mess up this chance to showcase your art in one of the biggest galleries in New York.”

“I am _not_ heartbroken,” insists Sebastian. “I’m just—“

There’s a frenzied knocking at the door before it bursts open and Agni runs into the room. “Tell me it isn’t true!” he demands, just as William mutters, “Be careful with the door.” “Sebastian, you and Ciel broke up?”

“We _ended our arrangement_ \- wait, how did you-“ Sebastian says, before turning to glare at Grell, who hides her phone and blinks at him innocently.

“Tell me it isn’t true!” Agni says again.

Sebastian sighs. “It’s true,” he says. “But—“

“Oh, my friend!” cries Agni, tears falling as he pulls Sebastian in for a bone-crushing hug. “I am so sorry!”

As he’s crushed in the hug, Sebastian sees Claude slip in and rolls his eyes. Just what he needs.

“Are you people listening to me?” he says loudly, pushing Agni away. “I don’t _care_. It wasn’t a relationship. Stop acting like I’m grieving; you’re bumming me out. And I’m taking a raincheck on this outing.”

When Sebastian leaves the room, the rest of the friends look at each other grimly.

“Damn him,” says William. “If this show doesn’t go through… think of all the overtime I’ll have to work if it—“

“No, I _hate_ overtime!” whines Grell, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Overtime means less time with me!”

“Well, you can thank Sebastian and his ex-sugar baby for that,” says William, folding his arms over Grells huffily.

Agni sighs. “He was becoming so happy… it’s such a shame to hear that they’re splitting up because of their mutual fear of love…”

“Mmmm, a shame…” Claude says absentmindedly, sitting on the couch with his chin on his hand.

Agni, William, and Grell all look over at him. “ _You’ve_  been uncharacteristically quiet,” says Grell unkindly.

“I was just thinking…” says Claude, dropping his hand and looking up at them. “Surely it would be alright if I tried my hand at bagging Ciel, wouldn’t it?”

Agni, William, and Grell all look at him, completely speechless.

“After all,” continues Claude, disregarding their reaction, “They’re over, now. So the boy is fair game. That’s how these things work.”

Agni stands quickly. “You are a man without morals!” he says, loud and fierce. “You are despicable, crass, crude, a terrible friend and a plague to boys everywhere—“

“Thank you,” says Claude.

Agni’s face darkens, and it looks like he’s going to explode.

“Wait a minute,” Grell says quickly, holding up her hands. “I think you should go for it, Claude.”

“What?!?” say William and Agni in unison.

She looks at William and Agni conspiratorially. “I mean, they broke up. And Sebastian did say he doesn’t care. I’m sure he would _totally not care_  if someone else dated Ciel, right, guys?”

William’s eyes widen in sudden comprehension. “Yes…” he says slowly. “He would, of course, not care at all. And not get Ciel back. And not finish my art show.”

“Of course! Sebastian would have absolutely no reason to care, and true love would most certainly not triumph over adversity!” says Agni, grinning as he realizes it too.

“So it’s settled,” says William, turning back to Claude. “For once, we’re giving you our full support. Go get Ciel; he’s absolutely, um, 'fair game'.”

“You mean it?” says Claude. “Nice. I’ll see you guys later, I gotta start scoping the bars he usually goes to.”

He leaves, and Agni, Grell, and William look at each other.

“How the fuck does he know which bars Ciel goes to?” says Grell.

Agni sighs. “I hope we haven’t made a mistake…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fucking Claude, amiright?


	8. Chapter 8

From past experience, Lizzie, Alois, and Sieglinde know that Ciel can be very hurt by breakups, and the best thing for them to do is distract him from the situation.

So when Ciel walks into the suite that morning and announces that his relationship with Sebastian is over, the three of them share their condolences, but they don’t pry too much. Instead, Alois suggests that they go out to a bar next weekend (without him, of course; a bar holds too much temptation for him).

Ciel seems affable enough to that suggestion, so he, Lizzie, and Sieglinde go out a few days later.

The bar they choose is one of their favorites, a place that’s always the perfect amount of crowded.

As they walk in, Lizzie carries Sieglinde to a seat at the bar and the two women start making eyes at the guys that flock to them. Ciel sits a few seats away from them, debates what drink he’s going to get.

“Evening.”

Ciel turns and nearly does a double take as he thinks he sees Sebastian. Then he realizes the man who’s approached him is taller, with glasses. “Hi,” he says.

“May I buy you a drink?” says the man.

Ciel tilts his head, considering it. “Why the hell not,” he says.

The man smiles, taking a seat next to him. “Excellent,” he says, holding out his hand. “Claude.”

“Ciel,” says Ciel, taking the hand.

“Delighted to meet you, Ciel,” says Claude.

“Sure,” says Ciel. “Now, about that drink…”

“You _are_ rude, aren’t you,” Claude says with an unsettling smile.

Ciel shrugs, covering up his uneasiness and nerves. “Fuck you,” he says.

Claude chuckles and buys him a drink. Then another.

After the second drink, Ciel is warm and fuzzy inside. Claude’s arm is around him, and the arm is warm and firm and familiar, in a way.

Just as Claude is saying something about ‘getting out of here’, Ciel realizes that he desperately needs to piss. He mumbles ‘be right back’ to Claude before he wobbles out of his chair and into the restroom.

He finishes and moves to step out of the bathroom into the hallway, but he’s pushed back against the wall and scooped up by strong arms. He starts fighting, until he realizes that it’s Claude. “Did you follow me?” he says.

“I’m not sure I can keep away from you,” Claude replies, and starts kissing his neck.

Ciel moans, pushing his head against the wall and closing his eyes. The kissing is nice. And then Claude starts sucking at his neck—that’s nice too. But when Claude begins rubbing a rock-hard erection against Ciel’s ass, Ciel freezes.

He starts pushing Claude away. Claude doesn’t notice, continuing to rock his hips, using one hand to slide Ciel’s shirt up.

“Cl-Claude!” gasps Ciel, using more of his strength (which is pointless; Claude’s strength is dramatically superior to his). “Stop- I don’t want to fuck in a bathroom!”

The moment he says that, Claude pulls away, still holding him up. “But you’d be willing to fuck somewhere else?” he says, staring at Ciel fiercely. “Name the place. I have an apartment.”

“Ummm,” says Ciel.

He thinks for a moment; he misses Sebastian, he misses getting fucked. Here is a man who looks like Sebastian who is offering to fuck him.

“Sure,” says Ciel. “But not tonight.”

Claude growls in frustration, but sets Ciel down to his feet. “When,” he demands.

Ciel presses his back to the wall as he thinks. “Um… I can do it a week from now, if-“

“So long?” says Claude flatly. Then he seems to collect himself. “Very well. Here’s my card; call when you need my address.”

Ciel takes the card. “Ok…” he says, avoiding Claude’s gaze.

He stays in the bathroom for a few minutes, collecting himself before going to find his friends.

“Where you been?” says Sieglinde. “Lizzie and I just fooled this drunken idiot into thinking we wanted a threesome with him.”

“He was being stalked by that creepy guy,” Lizzie says, “With the glasses and the perv eyes.”

“Not that creepy,” Ciel defends weakly. “He’s… well. He’s attractive, so…”

Lizzie narrows her eyes. “Ciel, you don’t look well,” she says, leaning forward to lay her hand on Ciel’s forehead. “Are you feeling flushed?”

“I’m not sick,” Ciel says, gently taking Lizzie’s hand off of his face. “Just… it’s harder getting back in the field than I thought it was gonna be. After Sebastian. That’s all.”

His three friends give him incredibly skeptical looks. “What?” he says defensively. “I’m allowed to be nervous about hooking up again.”

“Absolutely,” says Sieglinde. “But that’s not like you at all, ‘Mister Stoic’.”

“Which means that this breakup was different,” finishes Lizzie.

Now Ciel regrets drinking and loosening his tongue. “Don’t be stupid,” he says. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Nuh uh, not this time,” says Sieglinde, as Lizzie _tsks_ and grabs Ciel’s hand.

“Don’t tell me you’re staging an intervention,” says Ciel as Lizzie starts tugging him out of the bar, Sieglinde following close behind.

“Yes we are,” says Lizzie firmly.

“Wha- guys, come on, this isn’t fucking funny… GUYS!” says Ciel, but no one pays him any attention, and Lizzie is far too strong for him to even bother struggling against; she’s most likely stronger than Claude. So he sighs and gives in, allowing them to coax him back to the dorm.

When they get there, they sit him down on the couch. Alois comes out of his room, and Sieglinde and Lizzie bring him up to speed. “Ok,” says Alois. “What’s wrong, little buddy? That Claude guy sounded hot, even if he seemed kind of fucking creepy.”

Ciel rolls his eyes at the nickname. “It was just shitty,” he says.

“How so?” says Sieglinde.

Ciel looks at his friends’ serious and determined faces, and sighs. “We had such a good deal going,” he says, “And then we both fucked it up. Sebastian told me he loved me—“

“WHAT?” shouts Alois.

“—so then I told him I felt the same—“

“WHAT?!” shout Lizzie and Alois in unison.

“Yeah,” says Ciel. “Embarrassing, I know.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” says Sieglinde, holding up her hands. “You actually told someone that you loved them? You? Ciel Phantomhive?”

“Don’t remind me,” groans Ciel, putting his face in his hands. “So embarrassing…”

“So what happened?” says Lizzie, bouncing up and down in her seat. “Where did it go wrong?”

“What?” says Ciel, looking up at her. “It didn’t. We obviously just concluded that, since our feelings had grown too strong, our relationship needed to end.”

There’s a short silence.

“So what you’re saying…” Sieglinde says slowly, “Is that you broke up… because you both _love each other_?”

“Yeah,” says Ciel. _Isn’t it obvious?_

Suddenly, he’s being assaulted. “You absolute fucking _moron_!” cries Lizzie, gripping his biceps tightly and shaking him back and forth. “That’s not how this works!”

“What are you talking about?” Ciel yells in shock, trying to break free from Lizzie’s clutches.

“You don’t break up with someone because you love each other, you dolt!” says Alois. “Even I know that!”

“I can’t believe this. I take back all the pride I felt when you said you told him that you loved him,” says Sieglinde angrily.

“I don’t understand what the big- ELIZABETH, STOP SHAKING ME- deal is!” Ciel says, rubbing his neck, now sore from Lizzie’s shaking. “That _hurt_ , Lizzie.”

“Gosh Ciel, I’m sorry,” says Lizzie, not sounding sorry at all. “You know what else hurts? Knowing that my best friend is fucking up his love life by pushing away the ones who care for him!”

“I’m only ‘pushing away’ Sebastian!” says Ciel. “And I’m only doing it because we were getting too close!”

“Why is that a bad thing?” Alois says. “Isn’t that kind of the goal of any relationship?”

“For most people, yes,” Ciel agrees. “But you guys know it can’t be like that for me. I don’t let people get close to me, and—“

“Ciel, that is so much bullshit,” says Sieglinde. “Aren’t _we_ close to you? You know, your friends? The people you live with?”

“The people who gave you your first hand job?” adds Lizzie.

“Or gave you at least two blowjobs?” adds Alois, the two blondes giving him a Look.

“Ok, ok,” Ciel says, blushing like mad. “I get it, I get it! We’re close, but—“

“I can’t believe you’re still trying to pull this bullshit Batman I-work-alone crap,” says Lizzie indignantly. “Ciel, you’re not nearly as gloomy and dark as you think you are; don’t you realize that?”

Ciel is indignant. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” he says.

Sieglinde sighs. “That’s a whole other fish to fry; let’s not worry about that now,” she says. “Ciel, seriously. Can’t you realize that all the two of you need to do to solve the problem is to establish that you’re in a committed relationship?”

“No,” Ciel says immediately. “No, I can’t. Because that’s not what I want. I want to have meaningless sex with that Claude guy I met at the bar, I want to forget about Sebastian Michaelis, and I want all of you off of my back!” He stands up, walks into his bedroom, and slams the door.

“Well _that_  couldn’t have gone worse,” Alois says with a pout.

Lizzie sighs. “He’s always been so stubborn… we’re going to have to find another way to convince him.”

“He left his phone here,” says Sieglinde, holding the brand-new iPhone 6.

“God, it’s huge; how does he hold that thing in his tiny hands?” says Lizzie.

Sieglinde shrugs. “I don’t know.” Then she smiles slyly. “But how much you wanna bet that he hasn’t deleted Sebastian’s number yet?”

Lizzie and Alois break into sly smiles of their own.

“I can save it as a contact right now,” says Alois, pulling out his own phone.

Lizzie pulls out her phone as well. “It’s only fair that we get a chance to talk to the sugar daddy, after all.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter with lots of texting! (sorry about that...)
> 
> Lizzie is in bold, Sebastian is in italics, and Grell is underlined. Also, Sebastian is the worst texter.

**We need to talk.**

 

That’s the message that Sebastian gets from an unrecognized number as he stares at his canvas for the millionth time.

 

_srry, who is this?_

**It’s Lizzie. I’m a friend of Ciel’s.**  

 

Even looking at the name makes Sebastian’s stomach clench.

 

_y r u texting me? how did u get this number?_

**Don’t worry about how I got it. I’m texting you because you and Ciel need to get back together.**

_excuse me?_

**Ciel told me what happened, how you guys broke up because you loved each other. Are you SERIOUS???**

 

 

Sebastian sighs in exasperation. Great, now he’s being lectured to by a teenager. As if his friends weren’t bad enough.

 

 

_look, this was a private matter btw Ciel & I. no offense, but it’s none of ur business, & I’d appreciate u & ur friends staying out of it._

**of course its our business! shut the fuck up!**

 

Sebastian blanches at the rude message. Before he can reply, he gets another one.

**Sorry, Alois stole my phone. But he’s right, this is our business. Ciel is our best friend, and he’s been hurting because of you and your mutual idiocy.**

_im sorry about that. it hasnt been easy on me, either. but ciel & i were involved, now were not. thats all there is to it._

**But you both like each other??? I don’t see why you can’t just be together?**

_im not the type of person who does well w/ companionship. im better on my own._

 

A few minutes pass, and Sebastian thinks he’s finally ended the conversation. Then, he gets three texts in a row.

 

**HO YYLY S HIT**

**YOU AND CIEL ARE B OTH SO ST UUPDI HE SAID THE SAME FUCKING THIGN**

**THIS FUCKING BATMAN BRAVADO SH IT**

_did alois take ur phone again?_

**NO IT'S STILL LIZZIE I’M JUST SO FUCKING MAD AT BOTH OF YOU**

 

Sebastian is too afraid of this strange, fiery girl to say anything else that might upset her more, so he waits for her to hopefully calm down. After ten or so minutes, he gets another text.

 

**Sorry. That was out of line. But seriously, Sebastian, can’t you even consider getting back together with Ciel?**

 

Sebastian sighed. This chat is only making him miss Ciel more, which he absolutely can’t do. He isn’t cut out for relationships, it wouldn’t work out, and Ciel is too young to be saddled with a jaded older man like him.

 

**Please at least try? He’s going to hook up with some creepy guy named Claude, whom I don’t trust one bit. The guy was trying to hook up with him in the bathroom of the bar we went to! So gross…**

 

Sebastian looks at the text for a long moment.

 

_I gotta go, brb_

 

He grabs his jacket and keys, and slams his apartment door shut on his way out, making a beeline for Claude’s apartment.

Claude rarely locks his door because he’s too lazy to answer it, so Sebastian doesn’t bother knocking; instead, he pulls the door open and storms into the apartment.

“Claude!” he yells.

All he gets in reply is a groan. Walking into the next room, he sees Claude tangled in the bedsheets, half-asleep.

“Get up,” he says, pulling back the curtains and flooding the room with light.

Claude groans again, blearily opening his eyes. “Whaddya want?” he groans, covering his eyes.

“To talk,” replies Sebastian. He grimaces as he looks around the room and sees some of Claude’s truly disturbing sculptures. There’s a boy tied up in a spiders web and crying, a woman coupling with a spider, and baby with six extra arms like a—surprise, surprise—spider, dangling from the ceiling. “God, why are you so fucking weird? What’s wrong with your sculptures? Who hurt you as a child?”

“They’re _art_ ,” Claude says defensively, rolling out of bed. “What do you want?”

“Did you fucking stalk Ciel into a bar and get him to hook up with you?” says Sebastian, slowly and deliberately.

“What?” says Claude. “Oh, yeah; I totally did that. Why?”

“Why?!?” repeats Sebastian, throwing his hands up in disgrace. “Fuck you, that’s why! You don’t fucking hook up with people that your… ugh, _friends_ have hooked up with, Claude! It’s fucked up!”

“I didn’t know we were friends,” Claude says, smirking a bit as his creepy gold eyes stare at Sebastian tauntingly.

“Fuck you,” says Sebastian, placing his hands on Claude’s chest and pushing him backward.

“Fuck off,” snaps Claude, pushing back. “You weren’t even dating the little twink anyway, remember? You were just hooking up; you said that fifty million times!”

“That… that’s not the issue,” Sebastian says.

“Then what _is_  the issue?” says Claude, widening his eyes innocently. “Please, enlighten me.”

Sebastian growls. “The issue…” He trails off, taking a moment to think on just what bothers him so much. “The issue is that I can’t bear to think about him getting fucked by the likes of _you_. Repulsive. We may not have been dating, but I still appreciate him as a person, and he deserves much better than you. Come to think of it, almost everyone deserves much better than you.”

He feels quite satisfied with the vitriol he’s just spewed, but not as satisfied with his reasoning. _Oh god, is that love thing still happening?_

“That’s your opinion,” says Claude condescendingly. “I’ll have you know that plenty of people have jumped at the chance to be entangled in the spider’s web.”

“Oh my god, would you quit saying that?” says Sebastian, disgusted. “I cannot believe that anyone would voluntarily sleep with you.”

“Well your ex-twink is going to,” Claude says, smirking. “Or should I say, my current twink.”

Sebastian sees red. He barely stops himself from punching Claude right in the glasses, thinking of the inevitable lawsuit that would follow.

“I am going to ensure that you never touch Ciel again,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Oh, Sebastian. I thought you didn’t _care_ about him anymore,” says Claude.

“Well, you’re wrong,” says Sebastian, suddenly realizing exactly what he feels. “I do care.” He pulls out his phone, stomping his way out of Claude’s apartment. As he closes the door behind him, he hollers, “Because I love him, you hear me? Fuck you and your horrible spider metaphors. I love him!”

Claude shakes his head and snorts when Sebastian’s gone. “Gay,” he says. He’s still planning on getting Ciel into his bed. Sebastian had his chance, after all. It’s only fair that Claude gets a turn.

 

* * *

 

 _oh my god I’m going 2 puke. claude is going after ciel_  is what Sebastian texts Grell as he walks back to his place.

Grell responds less than a minute later. 

 

what an asshole!

_i know! wat the fuck, right?_

still, it’s not like you’re with ciel anymore. i guess i can kind of see why he did it…

_are u srs? u sound like claude_

ew, ew, don’t tell me that. but still, sebastian, you said you were ending things with ciel.

_well i lied, ok? i think im in love w/ him, & i dont know what 2 do b/c we just broke up & im just really freakin out b/c claude is gonna be a fuckin asshole like he usually is. if he hurts ciel i s2g im going to be violent._

calm down. jesus. you’re worse than me when i was obsessed with you.

_grell i need HELP_

ok. are you really, truly telling me that you love him?

_…yes. i rlly rlly do._

 

“He says he loves him!!!” Grell shouts to Agni and William, in the room with her and intently waiting to see what Sebastian is saying.

“Thank god,” William mutters, while Agni cheers loudly.

 

ok. don’t freak out, romeo; i have your solution.

_what is it???????_

stop whining and go GET him.

  
  
At first, Sebastian is furious at the unhelpful answer. But then he realizes what Grell is saying.

 

_thx i will_

 

He reaches his apartment, throws down his coat, and hurriedly texts a message to Lizzie.

 

_ok, i want him back_

**HA! I KNEW IT. What changed your mind, tho?**

_i know claude personally, and i dont want him anywhere near ciel_

**Ew, I’ll take your word for it.**

_yeah, ew is what claude is, alright._

**So what are you going to do?**

_idk… we ended things pretty soundly. im sure he’s done w/ me_

**I don’t know about that… he was having a hard time getting into the idea of hooking up again.**

 

The statement cheers Sebastian up slightly, but the idea of Ciel hooking up again makes him sick.

 

_lizzie, help me. what should i do?_

**Well, Sieglinde says to buy him a car.**

 

Sebastian scrunches up his face as he considers it.

 

_hes never said anything about wanted a car._

**Yeah, I'm pretty sure Sieglinde is the one who wants the car. Alois says show up in his dorm room naked.**

 

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, wondering if this is a serious suggestion. Right as he’s about to respond, he gets another text.

 

**Wait! That’s it!**

_u think i should show up in his dorm room naked?_

**No, of course not. But I do think you should show up in his dorm room and tell him how you feel. You’ve never been there; showing up would be a grand gesture.**

 

Sebastian is wary of going into Ciel’s space; in the past, he brought all of his hookups to his place. But then, he thinks, that’s the point of doing this, isn’t it?

 

_ok, ill do it. txt me where your dorm is and ill go there_

 

* * *

 

 

Ciel is sitting in his room, playing on his DS and trying to kill the butterflies that are squirming in his stomach from the thought of hooking up with Claude.

Suddenly, he hears a knock on the door of their suite. “I’ll get it!” bellows Alois.

He hears Alois skip his way to the door and open it. “Hiiii,” says Alois. “You’re more handsome in person.”

The person at the door mumbles something, and their voice sounds familiar.

“Ciel!!!” says Sieglinde. “You should come out, my dear. Someone’s hear to see you.”

Having a very bad feeling about who’s at the door, Ciel shuts his DS and leaves his room, looking down until the very last minute.

When he looks up he isn’t surprised, in his heart of hearts, to see Sebastian standing there. He _is_ rendered speechless, though.

“Ciel,” Sebastian says, looking Ciel up and down. Then he smiles. “It’s good to see you.”

“Sebastian,” says Ciel. “I…” It’s all he can think to say for a moment. Then: “Why are you here?”

“I made a mistake,” says Sebastian. “Please, Ciel. I want you back.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be the last :'(


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he walks into the gallery room, he gasps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter! 
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for sticking with this story till the end; your kudos and your comments especially mean the world to me and kept me writing. 
> 
> Please enjoy this last chapter!

“Please, Ciel. I want you back.”

 

* * *

 

 

“What… what is this?” says Ciel in astonishment, looking from his friends to his ex-sugar daddy. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I want you back,” Sebastian repeats. “Breaking up was a mistake.”

“We were never in a relationship though,” Ciel says dumbly.

Sebastian lets out a chuckle. “That’s what I thought, too,” he says. “But looking back on it, it couldn’t have been anything else. Ciel, you stayed over at my place at least three nights a week. I kept a spare toothbrush and towel for you, and you left at least two or three changes of clothes. We _cuddled_.”

“That… it was just a comfort after sex for me!” says Ciel. His friends ooh and aah at that, and he glares at them. “Do you three mind?”

Sieglinde and Elizabeth murmur apologies while Alois blows a raspberry, and the three of them slink off into Lizzie’s room, where Ciel has no doubt in his mind that they’re listening to every word of the conversation between him and Sebastian.

“I just… look, Sebastian,” says Ciel. “I’m not an indecisive person. When I end things, I end things. And I… we ended this.”

Sebastian slumps. “I understand,” he says glumly. He turns to leave—and Ciel feels a pang of something like longing—but quickly whirls back around with a fire in his eyes.

“Look, you don’t have to make any decisions now,” he says. “But come to my show.”

“What?” says Ciel.

“My art show,” clarifies Sebastian. He digs in his pockets for a moment before handing Ciel a card. “Come to my art show. Please could you do that for me? You can bring your friends—“

“Ooh, bring your friends!” calls Sieglinde. She’s opened Lizzie’s door, and Ciel and Sebastian give her a look. She puts up her hands in apology, saying, “Sorry, sorry. I just love those fancy New York galleries,” before Lizzie pulls her back in the room and shuts the door.

“Why should I?” says Ciel, looking back at Sebastian. “What could possibly change my mind at your art show.”

Sebastian opens his mouth as if to answer, than closes it and shakes his head. “You’ll see,” he says firmly, “If you come. Please, Ciel, do this for me?”

Ciel looks at the card. It’s white with black and blue writing on it, and under Sebastian’s name there is the location, time, date, and nature of the gallery show.

He looks back at Sebastian. “I don’t know…” he says.

“Please,” Sebastian says again. “I promise, if you go to the show and you still don’t want to be with me, I’ll… I’ll leave you alone forever. I’m not that much of an asshole, Ciel; I’ll leave you alone.”

Ciel sighs. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll go.”

Sebastian smiles. “Thank you,” he says in relief. “Thank you. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

They exchange awkward goodbyes, and Ciel shuts the door when Sebastian leaves, looking at the card in his hand.

“Oh my god,” says Alois, bursting out of Lizzie’s room. You _have_  to go!”

“I can’t believe you idiots were eavesdropping the entire time,” snaps Ciel.

“Ciel, honey, you know how thin these crappy dorm walls are,” says Lizzie. “We couldn’t avoid eavesdropping if we tried.”

“But we really didn’t try,” admits Sieglinde with a grin.

“Of course you didn’t,” says Ciel wearily.

“But oh my god,” Alois says, grabbing Ciel’s shoulders. “Please tell me you’re going to his gallery show.”

Ciel shrugs him off. “I don’t know if-“

“Oh, please,” says Sieglinde. “Ciel, you’re going to this show if we have to kick your little ass into going.”

“But I—“

“You _have_ to!” whines Alois, while Lizzie says, “Oh, just go, you idiot, just-” while Sieglinde says, “I will seriously kick your ass, and-”

“Ok, I’ll go,” Ciel says loudly. His three friends all quiet down and look at him with big smiles. “But only because I’m curious what his exhibition is going to be.”

_And why Sebastian is so sure that it will make me change my mind._

 

* * *

 

Ciel decides to go alone to the gallery show, much to the dismay of Sieglinde. It feels… too personal, for some reason. He wants to go alone.

He’s not sure what he’s expecting when he gets to the building that the gallery is in. More Hellscapes, probably. Maybe Sebastian’s planning on reading a speech for him or something, and wouldn’t that be terrible.

When he walks into the gallery room, he gasps.

He’s greeting by blue, blue everywhere, blue popping out on the white walls of the gallery. The pictures he sees are masterful, beautiful, and they all feature him.

Well, not him exactly. It would be beyond creepy if there were a series of paintings all of him, none of which he knew about; luckily Sebastian has more taste than that. Instead, all of the paintings utilize elements that are undoubtedly inspired by him. The deep blue of his left eye is everywhere, as is the milky blue of his right. In most of the pictures there is a boy; a boy that resembles Ciel, but the boy is younger and his features are blurred. And there are silver roses everywhere—he never would have guessed that Sebastian would remember his favorite flower.

It almost brings tears to his eyes. It certainly brings a lump to his throat. Was this what Sebastian was working on, all this time? It feels like a declaration of love.

“You must be the young man responsible for these beautiful works of art,” says an airy voice.

Ciel turns to see a Chinese couple standing next to him. At least, he thinks they’re a couple from the way the woman is holding onto the man.

“I’m Lau,” says the man, holding out a hand. “And this is Ran Mao.” The woman nods at Ciel.

“I’m Ciel,” he says, shaking Lau’s hand before continuing with a sheepish smile, “And yeah, um, I guess. I- uh… I didn’t know it… yes. I am.”

“Marvelous,” says Lau serenely, leaning down to—bizarrely—pat Ciel’s head. “Thank you, young man. This exhibition will bring so much attention and money to my gallery. Isn’t that right, Ran Mao?”

Ran Mao nods again and says, “Beautiful,” in a soft but grave tone of voice. She’s looking at Ciel when she says this.

Ciel blushes. “Um… you’re welcome? I guess. Thanks for giving Sebastian a place to display them.”

“Yes, quite,” says Lau absentmindedly, already drifting off in another direction, Ran Mao drifting with him.

Ciel is still staring at Lau’s back in astonishment when he hears the sound of a clearing throat behind him. “I see you’ve met the gallery director,” says an impeccably well-dressed man, in glasses and a fine suit.

“Yeah, he’s… he’s interesting,” says Ciel.

The man sniffs. “That’s a nice way of saying it,” he says delicately, thrusting out a hand to shake. "Excuse my rudeness; I’m William T. Spears, Sebastian Michaelis’s agent.”

“Oh,” says Ciel, holding out his hand and trying not to smile. Sebastian had talked occasionally about his snooty, perfectionist agent who constantly nagged at him to paint. “I’m Ciel Phantomhive, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I know who you are,” says William primly. “I approached you at this event strictly to thank you for all you’ve done for Sebastian.”

“Oh,” Ciel says again. “Well… you’re welcome, I—“

“That wasn’t the thank you,” says William impatiently. He takes a deep breath. “Thank you for being the inspiration for Sebastian’s paintings. If it wasn’t for you, this show might never had happened, and my career—as well as Sebastian’s—might have been finished. Whatever Sebastian saw in you was enough to give him the ability to create these. So thank you.”

Despite its primness and lack of emotion, Ciel finds the speech oddly touching. “You’re welcome,” he says again.

Suddenly he’s being strangled in red, a high pitched squeal reaching his ears. It’s only when the woman pulls back that he realizes he was being hugged.

“Oh my goodness!” says the woman. “Look at you! Look at your darling little face! You are just as delicious as Sebastian went on about!”

Ciel wheezes.

“Grell, for goodness sake,” says William, grabbing the woman by the shoulders and pulling her back. “Let the boy breathe.”

“Oh, terribly sorry,” says Grell. “I just got so excited!”

“Oh, of course you’re Grell,” says Ciel with a small smile. “I-“

He’s cut off as he’s wrapped up in yet another crushing hug. “Thank you, Ciel!” says a very excitable man, before he pulls back and gives Ciel a large grin.

“And you must be Agni,” says Ciel.

“He knows my name!” announces Agni to William and Grell. The man is now crying openly. “Thank you,” he says. “Thank you for coming and being a part of my dear friend’s life.”

“Um…” says Ciel. “It was my pleasure?”

“Ooh, I’ll bet it was,” says Grell voraciously. “Tell me, Ciel. How big is Sebastian’s—“

“Enough!” says Sebastian sharply.

Ciel turns and sees his ex-lover swiftly walking up to them. Grell, Agni, and William suddenly decide to go somewhere else, leaving Ciel and Sebastian to talk.

“Ciel,” says Sebastian, breathing out the name as if it were a blessing. “You came.”

Ciel nods, feeling a bit awkward, unsure about what to do with his hand. “Hi,” he says softly.

Sebastian seems to have no such hesitation, reaching forward to pull Ciel into a hug. “I’m so glad you came,” he murmurs.

“I can’t believe this…” mutters Ciel. “I can’t believe all of these. Did you really think of me when you-“

“-were painting?” Sebastian finishes, pulling back with his hands on Ciel’s shoulders. “ _Yes_ , Ciel. I thought of you the whole time. When we met, I was struggling for inspiration; I had almost given up hope. The night after I met you, immediately I had something to paint. A new concept opened up to me, and I have you to thank for it.”

“But…” Ciel says, his mind reeling. “What about me is so inspiring?”

“Everything about you,” says Sebastian. “Your eyes, your scowl, your smile, the way you carry yourself, proud and noble, the way you swindled me into giving you money—“

“What!?” Ciel says. “I—“

“Don’t lie,” says Sebastian, but he’s smiling affectionally. “I looked up your name online. ‘Ciel Phantomhive, heir to the Funtom Company fortune.’”

Ciel squirms guiltily. “My- my dad cut me off for college, I swear.”

“I believe you,” Sebastian says, pulling Ciel into another hug. “I would have done the same thing.”

As he lets go, Ciel grabs his hands, holding them gingerly. “Sebastian…” he says. “I’m not good with relationships-“

“Nor am I,” says Sebastian quickly. “But I’m willing to try for you, and—“

“Let me finish, you big moron,” says Ciel, giving him a stern look. Sebastian nods at him apologetically, and he takes a deep breath. “I’m not good with relationships. But I like you. I… love you. And I want to try.” It’s not very wordy, and it’s all he’s going to say.

But Sebastian looks happier than Ciel has ever seen him. “So we’re going to do this?” he says. “We’re going to try and be in a relationship?”

Ciel takes another deep breath. “We are,” he says, and the smile on his face might even be bigger than the one on Sebastian’s.

 

* * *

 

Lizzie, Alois, and Sieglinde show up at the gallery about ten minutes later despite Ciel’s wishes, of course. They, along with William, Grell, and Agni, proceed to say “I told you so” so many times that Sebastian and Ciel are forced to make a run for it and hide in a nearby closet to make out for a while.

All in all, it’s a pretty good night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not write an epilogue to this, but I will definitely be posting more Kuro fanfic in the future.
> 
> Cheers!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading my first multi-chapter kuroshitsuji fic! for more kuroshitsuji & other nerd shit, come find me on [tumblr dot com!](http://lizmidford.tumblr.com)


End file.
